


Heaven Help Me

by mcmachine



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: AU, Attending Jackson, Attending/Intern AU, F/M, Intern April
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-14
Updated: 2018-03-15
Packaged: 2019-03-04 22:59:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 36,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13374873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcmachine/pseuds/mcmachine
Summary: Japril Attending/Intern AU. April Kepner is a young, shy wannabe surgeon just beginning her career at Seattle Grace. Jackson Avery is a world-renowned plastic surgeon, well established among the medical community. They shouldn't have anything in common. They hardly do. Except their commonality is being madly in love with each other.





	1. Figure It Out

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally posted on Tumblr as a drabble! However, I plan on continuing it at random with what things would have been like as Japril the main couple throughout the events of the show.

“Dr. Avery, I keep telling you, we can’t do this…” The heartbroken expression is pitiful, head turning away so she doesn’t have to meet the intense gaze of his blue eyes.

“April.” His voice is stern, steady. A solid reminder of their reality: he was the attending, and she was just an intern. A pathetic little intern who everyone in the hospital seemed to despise except for him. It didn’t make a lick of sense to her. She was duckie. And he was the most handsome man that she’d ever seen, sculpted like an Adonis, one of the most talented plastic surgeons in the country, if not the world. And he had taken an interest in her. April Kepner. Pale skin and boring eyes, scrubs a little oversized and scribbling away in her red notebook, hardly able to meet eye contact with most people.

It certainly hadn’t made her more likable. April tried to be as subtle as she could about it, at first, the groping and making out in supply closets and curling up in on-call rooms. Even if she hadn’t gone all the way with him yet, everyone sure seemed to think they had.

There was no doubt that Jackson was to blame for that, too. He wasn’t exactly subtle. She by no means considered herself the most talented among her peers, but he always picked her first for observing or scrubbing in, called her out when she knew the answer but refused to raise her voice above the others. It was enough to drive her crazy.

And, well, it drove the other girls crazy. April couldn’t count the number of times that they’d ridiculed her, called her a slut for sleeping with an attending, and excluded her from every possible thing they could. She thought she had no one to blame but herself.

Could have blamed him, but wouldn't.

“Jackson, it’s not right! I’m an intern. You shouldn’t even like me. I mean, God knows that no one else does. I’m– it’s cheating. Cheating at my internship. We shouldn’t be doing this, and you know that we shouldn’t be doing this. Do you know how much trouble we could both get in for this? I could lose my position here. Or they’ll kick me out so I can’t do my residency here. And you... you could lose your job, Jackson! It’s just, none of this makes any–”

“April, stop talking.” The fierce command is enough to stun her into shutting up. “Take a deep breath and calm down. Freaking out isn’t going to make you feel better.”

He’s right and she knows it, and it drives her crazy. She doesn’t understand how he knows her so well, how he understands her. They were polar opposites. He had the name and the legacy and the talent, and what did she have?

“Jackson, I shouldn’t be calm about this. Neither should you!”

The attending steps toward her and April instinctively step back, knowing his wayward charm and how capable he was at distracting her. But she only hits the rack of supplies behind her in the closet, and he has her cornered. He doesn’t take advantage of it, though, he’s not that guy. His hand comes up and he brushes a strand of hair out of her eyes, tucking it back behind her ear gently.

“But I am calm about this, you know why?” There’s a brief pause before April nods for him to continue.

“Because I love you, April Kepner. And I don’t give a damn who says it’s right or wrong. So what if you’re an intern? You won’t be one forever. But I’m going to keep loving you, whether you’re an intern, resident, fellow, or attending. I don’t care about our jobs. I care about you.”

It’s the first time that either of them has let out the ‘L' word, and April’s stunned into silence by the confession. Of course, the feeling is reciprocated, but she’d never predicted that he would have felt the same way about her. She couldn’t see any of the things that he saw in her. Especially when he could have any girl that he wanted.

Seconds pass between them, the only noise the gentle hum of the air conditioning unit. 

Jackson had anticipated any response but silence from her. Considering how full of words she’d been a few moments ago, he would have at least expected some kind of over sharing of her emotions. That was typical of her –– the rambling, the flush of her cheeks when she’d realized how she’d gone off, and the shake of her head and scrunch of her nose whenever she insists that he ignored whatever she’d said. 

“You love me?” The three word question is heavy with vulnerability, eyes going wide as she desperately attempts to keep tears from spilling out of the hazel spheres.

There’s nearly a chuckle from Jackson’s lips, unable to help the smile that cracks his previously serious features.

“Of course I love you.”

After what seems like a long moment, a smile finally breaks April’s cheeks, splitting them nearly in two with the way that it lights and lifts up her delicate features, bringing a magnificent glow to her feature. 

“I love you too, Jackson.” The truth spills from her lips, and this time the tears in her eyes feel significantly less vulnerable than they did moments ago. He loved her. Oh, god. He loved her. Her. Her heart’s pounding in her chest, exhilarated, and it’s nearly enough to make her feel dizzy with the excitement of emotions pummeling through her.

“Then relax, okay?” Jackson leans down, pressing a soft kiss to her lips. It’s enough to make her stomach flip and knees weak, her hands grabbing his white coat as he breaks the contact. “We’ll figure this out. We love each other. We can do this.”


	2. As We Know It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based off of 2x16 and 2x17.

“How the hell did this happen?” Jackson’s voice bellowed through the hospital hallways as he stormed out of the elevator. He’d just been closing a patient when security and the Chief had come through telling him that he needed to evacuate the operating room immediately, sending off one of his residents to deal with the post-op cleft palette on their own.

He hadn’t even made it one floor in the elevator before the news had swirled enough that it reached his ears. There was a bomb in the hospital – it’d been in the damn O.R. next to his. That was one catastrophe, but the one that had come next only made things worse.

One of the interns was holding the bomb in her hand.

Despite the pounding of questions that had come on when Jackson received the piece of information, he hadn’t been able to get a name out of the scrub nurses. Either they didn’t know or just hadn’t cared enough to find out. Page after page had been sent to April, asking to know where she was, even picking up his cell phone and calling her three times back to back. But no matter how he pestered her for communication, he didn’t receive an answer in response. Worry swelled through him and he hadn’t been able to hold it back anymore, taking it out on the first person that he had stumbled upon. In this case, he’d been somewhat lucky. It was Sloan. Someone who might think a second because of their friendship before lashing back out against him.

“Take a step back, Avery. Your surgery is over.” Mark offered, clapping the younger male on the shoulder. He’d heard the same details, but didn’t have an intern to be attached to. From what he knew about Jackson and the redhead, well, he assumed it was just a fling.

“What intern is holding the bomb?”

“Man, relax. I didn’t see her, I’ve been here treating burns. What’s–?”

“Is the intern Kepner? Is it April?”

Mark doesn’t hold the answer that Jackson was looking for, and it doesn’t take long for him to storm off in another direction, searching down Webber. He would know. He would have to know. There was no way that he could hang around without knowing for any longer, he needed to get a hold of April before he lost his mind any more than what he already had. He didn’t care if he had to slip himself back into the operating floor himself to get a look inside.

__________________________

“Steady hands, Kepner.”

Only a few people remained in the operating room after the evacuation order had been given. A couple members of the bomb squad doing the best that they could to try and make the environment as safe as possible, an open cavity on the table with April’s hands inside it. The object that she clutched was solid, tiring arms remaining stable as she offered a nod of her head to the male. The vest that she wore was heavy on her small frame, but she knew the reality of the situation. If this thing went off, the vest would do nothing to protect her. She’d be dead. The patient would be dead. The anesthesiologist would be dead. Everyone would be dead except for her.

Pressure is something that she’s familiar with, a necessity as a part of their surgical training. But nothing that she’d ever heard or experienced had ever prepared her for this. No one talked about traumas coming in with bombs inside of them. They were supposed to come in after the blast, not bring the explosion with them.

“I know. I’m doing my best.” Even with the tears in her eyes.

“And you’re doing a great job, I promise.”

The words do nothing to make the twenty-four year old feel better. It’s something that he has to say, April reasoned. To make sure that she wasn’t spooked. But she didn’t want to die. She wasn’t ready to die. There was still so much that she had to do, so many things that she wanted to say. All of her life had been spent in school, college and medical, that she felt as if her own life hadn’t even started. She wasn’t established, she didn’t have a legacy. She didn’t want to be forgotten.

And she would be, wouldn’t she? Or worse – her memory would be one that she was ashamed of. She’d been the intern who hadn’t had steady enough hands to save her patient, who’d been so bad that she’d killed everyone in the operating room and caused an explosion in the hospital. April couldn’t decide what was worse, to be forgotten quietly or to be remembered terribly.

But she wanted either. Can’t die. Can’t die.

Repetition of the phrase doesn’t help with any of the tension that’s currently occurring inside of her mind, but repeating the words so actively in her mind helped to focus some of her attention on keeping her arms still. She knew what needed to be done. The bomb needed to be removed from his abdomen as steady as possible, raised up slowly and carefully, not moving a damn thing. Then she could hand it off. She could hand it off and be done. It was no longer her responsibility, no longer lives on the line because of her. April needed to get out of there and she damn well knew it. Panic attacks were something that she was familiar with. And she knew one was coming. Terror was the only thing that was keeping it momentarily at bay, but she knew once the bomb was gone and she was left with nothing more than adrenaline… she’d be a mess.

“Slow and steady. You’ve got this and I’ve got you.”

One last deep breath is taken, praying loudly in her head to God that this wouldn’t be the last one she takes. Gaze is intent and focused as the lift of her arms is as consistent as physically possible for her, lifting the bomb out of the abdomen.

__________________________

When the bomb exploded in the hospital, the entire building shakes.

Jackson runs across the hospital despite the pleas and words being thrown at him to remain where he is, not stopping until he’s finally reached the O.R. floor. The site that’s laid out in front of him horrified him – destruction and debris from where the bomb had gone off. But it’s in the hallway, the worst of it, it doesn’t look like it had gone off inside of the operating theatre. He knew that it’d been Kepner in there, Webber had told him, the older male practically put him on lockdown with the reaction that he had received.

“April! April!” Her name is shouted as he tried to navigate through the dark smoke and few flames that flickered here and there, light eyes squinting to try and make through. He can recognize body parts among the mess of wall and instruments, unidentifiable.

It’s his instinct to assume the worst with everything that had been heard, tears beginning to blur his vision. Jackson doesn’t quite reach the point of sobbing when he hears soft coughing, leading to a rejuvenation of energy in his movement as he called out his girlfriend’s name once again.

April’s everything hurt, limbs sprawled out awkwardly against the linoleum. Her ears rang from the force of the explosion, having been thrown back from her position down the hallway when it’d finally gone off. After everything, she thought she’d done it. She had done it. And yet it hadn’t mattered. The bomb had gone off and the only person who had managed to sedate some of her fears in the midst of the terror was now dead. She felt like she should blame herself and she can’t pinpoint why. But she had prayed that it wouldn’t be her last breath, that she’d survived. She hadn’t thought to pray that the bomb technician would, too.

God worked in funny and cruel ways sometimes.

Delicate hands find her shoulders and she nearly didn’t realize that Jackson’s above her, talking to her. Her gaze is slow to move to his face and she can see his mouth moving, but she can’t quite hear what he’s saying. Head shakes no, clueless. Well muscled arms scoop beneath her tiny frame, picking her up as if she weighed nothing. And in the moment, she felt like nothing. 

Agonizing ache made her head feel buzzy and she can hardly process everything happening. She'd handed him the bomb and felt relief, Burke had taken over the rest of the surgery to finish. She'd barely gotten a few steps outside of the operating room. But she was still here. The tightness in her throat and lungs was a painful reminder.

__________________________

The first time that Jackson sees her naked, there's nothing romantic about it. He had begrudgingly let her roommate Reed taken her home, and hadn't been home even half an hour before the other intern was calling him. April had locked herself in the bathroom and refused to answer. Irritating traffic slowed him down, but when he finally got their apartment, it's quiet minus the sound of the shower running. Reed was pacing and said something to him, but his worry about April is far too focused on her to properly hear what was being said to him.

An old trick gets the knob open, and Jackson's slow to step in.

Splattering of water filled his ears and heat rushed over his skin with the steam that had filled the entirety of the small bathroom. He could see her tiny outline sitting on the floor of the shower through the curtain. The door is shut behind him for privacy, not wanting to alarm her.

"You're okay." Jackson offered the words as a reminder and both audible announcement that he was here, not sure how out of it she made have been. Shock was a difficult thing to process for anyone but he couldn't imagine that burying herself in a hot shower was going to help. Slowly, he pulled the curtain, positioned purposely behind her so the intrusion on her privacy isn't too extreme. All he can really see is the pale skin of her back and hair, dark and heavy against it. "You're okay, April." The second time the words escape his mouth, there are tears in his eyes as relief flooded him. Adrenaline was gone from his system by now, making more room for the flooding of emotions.

"I did everything right. I–I did everything right and it still went off." Her forehead was pressed into her knees, muttering the sound of the words. A cool hand rubbed the back of her shoulder and it's just enough that she starts sobbing loudly, unable to contain it anymore. Everything ached, but her heart worse than any pain offered by her body.

"You're alive. That's all that I care about. I'm not losing you."

Choking on her own sobs, April can't bring herself to offer him any kind of verbal response. Not minding the spray of the shower, Jackson kicked off his shoes and trousers. Left in his boxers and a t-shirt, he got into the shower behind her, kneeling down so that she could lean back against him if she chose to. He washed her slowly, massaging her scalp slowly and gently, then combing out her hair once it had been conditioned. Washing her body is a little more challenging with the position that she had pulled herself into, but he worked around it as best that she would allow without invading her privacy. Hands rub over her back gently, wanting to give her something physical to hold onto, something minuscule to feel good about for a few seconds.

"I love you," he murmured and pressed a kiss against the back of her shoulder. "I love you."


	3. Walk on Water

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on "Walk on Water" and "Drowning on Dry Land", 3x15 and 3x16.

Arriving on the scene of the ferry boat crash sent a jolt of adrenaline and terror like nothing else.

Wide eyes look around and take in the worst of it, but it’s more than April. All of the interns have to stand there for a few long seconds, absorbing the level of catastrophe that they had been given for the day. Something like this happening felt like something was seen in the movies, not experienced in real life. But it’s not until Burke is barking at them to get off of their asses and start acting like doctors that any of them start moving, all of them scattering offer in different directions to try and assist and save as many lives as possible.

Some were in significantly worse condition than others. The first patient that April stumbled upon was relatively stable, tagging them so that he could be sent off to the hospital to receive treatment there. Manipulating through them is a fresh set of terror, different scenery than the plain walls and linoleum at the hospital. A new challenge.

A lonely child is what pulled her attention away from the next woman laying on the ground, slight glance cast at her before April was tearing herself in the opposite direction to get toward the kid. She couldn’t have been more than nine or ten, definitely not in any position to be wondering around. A bit of an oddity that she seemed so calm in the midst of the terror, not crying or calling out for a parent. The redhead doesn’t have time to question it in the moment, catching up with her quickly and squatting down to her eye level, assessing her once more quickly. It looked like she'd peed her pants, but there were no visible injuries.

“Hi sweetie, do you know where your parents are? I’m a doctor. I can help.”

Silence. It’s the only real response that the girl offered, young eyes staring at April for a moment before giving another look around and starting to walk away. But the young intern certainly wasn’t about to let her go anywhere, grabbing her hand with a grip that rode the line between gentle and firm.

“We need to get you checked out and find your parents, okay? We’ve got lots of doctors and police and fireman looking for people out here. Your parents must be worried sick about you. Let’s get you over to them, alright?”

Jackson came over to check in on her as April dragged the young girl over to the others, instructing her to sit still by the paramedics before her boyfriend could steal away her attention.

“Are you good?” He asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I can triage all day long. Might have to, looking around…”

It didn’t feel like an exaggeration, given the sight of things. Gray, foggy sky nearly made it look like something out of a disaster movie. They were lucky that so many people have been managed to get off of the ferry before the worst of it had occurred, even if the scene still appeared to be a chaotic mess. Controlled chaos, perhaps, would have been the best term to put on it for the moment.

“Just let me know if you need anything, alright?” Nods are exchanged in confirmation and Jackson bent down to place a quick kiss on her cheeks before they’re both moving back to get things done. The first on the boat meant that there were more than enough burns to keep him occupied, on top of the other ENT problems that naturally came with something of this magnitude. Things are the hospital would be swamped once they got the majority of patients situated back there. He would be kept busy for days, without a doubt.

Another patient is the first thing to pull April away, rushing over to assist. There's too much to be done, not enough hands on deck no matter how many people were on the scene. The waterfront was a real disaster zone.

But she's not able to process it properly until she's working on an older gentleman near the edge of the water, no doubt having been pulled out of it himself. The young girl had wandered over to find her again, no doubt, pulling away her attention from treating the ghastly injury on the male's leg when she noticed the figure hovering above her work.

"I thought I told you to wait by the paramedics," April murmured though she didn't expect a response.

Predictably quiet, the young girl continued to stand there, staying still for this time. The redhead's gaze flickered between her and the patient that she was currently working on for a moment, not wanting her to leave her sight this time. Things were still unstable around here, and she had to have parents that were looking for her somewhere. Or would have been, if they were conscious. Bottom lip twisted between her teeth for a moment as thoughts consume her, trying to figure out the next best course of action. Somehow, treating patients had become the easier part of handling the day. Rationally, she knew that probably shouldn't have been the case. 

"Do you want to help me? I need–"

The rest of sentence doesn't make it out of her mouth. The patient that she's kneeled beside spasms and howls in pain – no doubt trying to grab April as if that would provide some kind of relief, but instead shoves her back. Between the force and being caught off-guard, limbs are nothing more than a ragdoll as they tumble backward past the edge of the waterfront and into freezing water. She goes down headfirst, red hair coming loose as it blinded and suffocated her beneath murky waters. She'd sucked in a mouthful of the salty water in the midst of her surprise, choking on it as she tried to free her lungs from the stinging. Her limbs flail haphazardly in an attempt to center herself, eyes squinting open to figure out which was up. The water was dark and heavily polluted from the crash, and there'd been next to no air in her lungs to start. A few weak breaststrokes are given to try and sort herself out, but it doesn't take long for her to succumb to the fuzziness in her head.

_________________________

Backdoors of the ambulance are pushed shut as Jackson sent off another patient back to be treated at the hospital, condition currently too emergent for what could reasonably be done on the scene. A habitual sigh fell from his lips as he gave a glance around with the determination to figure out where to go next, light eyes bouncing from body to body until they fell on that of a familiar young girl.

It was the same one that had been attached to April like a lost puppy. He briefly scanned the immediate vicinity around her, expecting the redhead to be only a few feet away. Frown tugged across his features before his gaze moved back around the entirety of the triage scene, trying to spot familiar red hair that often set her apart from the crowd. When he doesn't quickly find what he's looking for, large strides are taken over toward the prepubescent to see if she had any of the answers that he was looking for.

"Hey, hey, where's April? Dr. Kepner? The doctor with the red hair that you were with earlier?"

Horror sank deep into the pit of his stomach when the little girl doesn't offer a verbal answer, instead turning around so that she could point a small finger out at the water. For what felt like an impossibly long time, Jackson froze, each foot feeling like a cement block as he can't find it inside of himself to take a step forward, to go running like he should have. Nausea settled inside of him next as he looked around the edge of the waterfront, hoping and begging to see her hunched over a patient there, but nothing. Reality then slammed back into him forcefully as he's moving to the edge of the water as quickly as he can, stripping out of the heavy jacket that he was wearing before he's diving into the water.

_________________________

"Come on, come on," he panted out the syllables desperately as folded hands push down onto her chest. "Breathe, please breath..." Somewhere int he back of his head, Jackson could hear the paramedic insisting that she take over. He'd been going at it for too long now, refusing to give up. 

April's skin was pale as death, her lips had turned a shade that nearly matched his scrubs. Hair stuck to her face haphazardly, heavy with wetness, and she's not moving. She hadn't been breathing when they pulled her out of the water, skin far too cold to the touch. A patient that none of them knew, and maybe she would have been nothing more than a lost cause. But this was one of them, and no one wanted to give up on that, her getting first attention when it came to being transported to the hospital in an ambulance. And Jackson had refused to stop administering CPR, pinching the bridge of her nose and trying to force oxygen back into her lungs. Eventually, the ambulance pulled to a stop as they reached the hospital.

"What have we got?" Bailey's voice barked out.

"Jane Doe," the paramedic answered.

"It's not a Jane Doe. It's April Kepner." Jackson doesn't stop the CPR as he answered, words breathless from the amount of energy that had been extorted in trying to keep her alive. Somewhere in the back of his head, he can hear Bailey questioning him about how long she'd been down. He answered without realizing it, forced to stop for a brief moment as she's unloaded from the ambulance and moved inside of a trauma room.

Even with grief blinding him, the work between him and Bailey is fast and surprisingly in sync. He can hear the insistence that he needed to leave the trauma room, that someone else could take care of it. It's not until the Chief actually came in himself that he's finally forced out.

Jackson felt as if he was the one whose heart had stopped when he's forced out of the room, staring blankly at the chaos of the hospital around him. There were patients that needed treating still, people who needed him... but he can't force himself to focus. Instead, he found himself alone in one of the on-call rooms, rage at the situation revitalizing him. Hands slam down onto one of the desks in the room loudly, a sob breaking through him as a hand slid across the wood and knocked over the lamp there.

Mark entered the room a few moments after hearing the crash from outside of the hallway, swallowing thickly as he found Jackson there. It hadn't taken long for word to travel that it was Kepner inside of one of the trauma rooms now, never took long for gossip to travel around the hallways. But this was something more meaningful than that, and he knew the exact impact that it would have on Jackson.

"She's still alive, man, she's still fighting," he started supportively, hand moving to Jackson's shoulder. "This isn't over."

April's heart hadn't beat on its own accord for far too long now, temperature still dangerously low for the functioning of her organs. She'd been intubated, and the conversation of whether or not they should start had already come up here and there. Bailey and Webber hadn't been able to process it properly. This was one of their interns, one of their responsibilities. Giving up on her felt wrong, and they knew the spirit of the particular intern that they were working on. She was the type that wouldn't have given up on one of her coworkers until someone was prying her away from their dead body. They needed to give her the exact same care and attention.

"She's not dead till she's warm and dead," Webber announced. "Let's try warming her up."

_________________________

Two days later, April had her own room inside of the ICU.

Jackson had barely left the chair next to her bed, only when patients absolutely needed him and there was no one else that could do it. He was terrified that she wouldn't wake up again even after all of the measures that had gone through to save her life and half-terrified that when she did wake up, he wasn't going to be there beside her.

The beeping of her monitor just barely picked up as her hand gave a slight twitch, enough to alert him from his position beside her, head resting on her bed right next to her hand. Jackson's quickly moved to take one of her head, his head raising up.

"April?"

"Hi," she barely answered back. Her voice was hoarse and it only took a moment before coughs had plagued her, prompting Jackson to get up and move just enough that he could pour a glass of water for her. Hands didn't leave the cup to help her drink it, knowing that she had to be weakened from everything that she had been through in the past few days. When the plastic cup was placed back on the counter again, he took a moment to stand there beside her, letting his fingertips brush back frizzy hair away from her eye-line.

April did her best to offer Jackson a weak smile, her vision slightly fuzzy without her contact lenses, but she would have known that face and that voice anywhere. Exhaustion didn't even begin to cover the heaviness in her bones, even after having been unconscious for quite so long.

Jackson's head dipped down so that he could place a soft kiss against her forehead, nose brushing against her hair and taking a deep breath. She was alive. She was awake. That was the only thing that he could focus on, but now, that was enough for him. That was all that he needed.

"Never scare me like that again, baby. I can't handle it."

"Trust me, I don't plan on it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this!! I'm always accepting ideas for what episodes that you'd like to see between the two of them. Make sure to pop down a review. ❤


	4. Six Days

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is based very loosely on the events of 3x12, primarily off the plot point of George's father dying. An anon request jealous!Jackson, so.... I'm delivering.

“George’s father died today.”

The news is dropped like a bomb, even though April realistically knew that the news wouldn’t have a drastic difference on Jackson. Everyone had known that O’Malley’s hospital had been in the hospital for a few days, the situation becoming increasingly more complicated with each passing day it seemed. The frat house had become tense, and she felt like of the group, she was the only one really taking it seriously. Alex was being, well… Alex about it. As were Cristina and Meredith. She didn’t get it, but it wasn’t hers to get. She was just doing everything in her power to be there for George, knowing that he had to be going through the unimaginable.

Which in turn, really meant that every hour that she wasn’t working was trying to be as supportive of a friend as possible. Her approach was hands-on, by his side. A kind, gentle touch. Hovering presence. April knew he probably wanted to be around his actual family more than his coworkers, but she made sure he knew that they were an option.

“How’s he doing?” Jackson’s inquiry was mostly out of politeness, not knowing O’Malley particularly well himself. The death of a father was something always a little harder for him to relate to given his general distaste for fathers after his own had left him so long, but he’s not completely heartless. He’d show up for a funeral, support the intern.

“It’s hard to tell. I can’t even begin to imagine going through something so awful…”

The words leaving April’s mouth leave an unintentional sting. Jackson’s hand came up to run over his features for a moment as he absorbed the comment, knowing that she meant nothing personal about it, but having to wonder for a moment if she realized just how privileged the words leaving her lips were. Probably, he mused. He knew that she could a piece of work on occasion, but ungrateful had never been one of her flaws.

“Yeah, it must be something else,” Jackson agreed with a nod of her head. He’s a little surprised that she didn’t catch her own words, but didn’t push it for the moment. Her thoughts were no doubt wrapped around her friend and not him at the moment, which was perfectly acceptable. Today wasn’t a day to get caught up in his own head.

“Everyone’s been hovering around the family a lot, I think. George knew that it was coming but I don’t know if his family will feel the same way…” she rambled off in concern about her friend. Jackson listened to every thought that she had to express for the moment, nodding and make an occasional noise of agreement, knowing that she would feel better about herself if she got everything that was on her mind out and in the open. For the most part, he did pay genuine attention. She wanted to make sure that as many people as possible, and as were wanted, from the hospital, showed up at the funeral so that George knew he had an entire support system there. That was something that was mostly feasible, of course. It wasn’t like the entire surgical staff could up and leave, but a few hours could be spared for the sake of supporting one another. At the moment, that seemed like the only tangible idea that she had.

Naturally, when the day of Harold O’Malley’s funeral did come, it was packed.

It was a combination of both April’s doing and the goodness in people’s heart coming out, a large crowd gathered for the ceremony. She teared up, perhaps one of the more emotional of the coworkers there, but stayed somewhat near the back so she wouldn’t draw attention to herself. Jackson didn’t mind holding her for the duration of it, going up with her to the family to offer condolences of his own, and the cliche of whatever they needed. The latter was more likely to fall on April rather than anyone else.

When people begin to scatter after the end of the ceremony, Jackson’s arm hadn’t moved from around her waist. “Are you coming over?” He asked, letting his lips brush the hair on top of her head.

"No. We're doing a small get together with George after the funeral. I wanted to invite you, but... I thought it'd be weird for the rest of them, you know? For George, at least. He probably doesn't want to be around a ton of people right now and..."

"I get it, sweetheart. Don't worry," an airy chuckle accompanied the words. "I'll see you later."

The two of them go their separate ways, April sitting in the backseat of the car with Meredith and Cristina to ride over to the frat house. The two of them chattered in the front seat without her, and the redhead could begin to feel some of the exhaustion weighing at her bones. Pushing herself to be there for her friends was nothing new, though, nothing that she was going to let bother her. She wanted to think that someone like George would have done the same thing for her if the tables were turned. He'd always been the most accepting of their group.

Small talk is made with Callie when they get to the house, knowing that as his wife, she was going to be dealing with the brunt of George's grief. George hadn't appeared yet, no doubt lingering with his family. It didn't surprise April. As much as they spent time together at work, nothing could compare to having a good support system in your own family.

"Oh, shit–" Callie cursed as her pager went off. "There's an incoming MVC at the hospital, I've got to go. I'll be back as soon as I can, but do you mind taking over for things here?" The orthopedic surgeon had already begun gathering up her things. "Thanks, Kepner."

April hadn't actually gotten a chance to get a word in, blinking wildly for a moment before nodding her head as she watched the other woman rush out the front door of the house. She knew the love of surgery was strong for everyone in the hospital, but even she had to wonder how someone could leave the person that they were supposed to love without so much as a second thought for it after such a traumatic loss. She couldn't imagine just running off at such a time. Cristina and Meredith had disappeared somewhere, leaving her alone in the kitchen. The sigh that she had been holding in unintentionally is finally released from her lungs, finding a seat at the kitchen table until she heard the front door open.

George slammed the door shut behind him, giving April the quick opportunity to pop up and greet him. A few moments of small talk is made between the two of them, both of them walking on eggshells. Neither wanted to confront is quite so directly, yet it lingered in the room.

"I just want to go to my room."

The announcement that George made was a bit sudden and April froze in place for a moment before she trailed off after the other male, concerned furrowing her brows. It was easy to isolate one's self: that was something that the redhead knew well, she'd done it a few times here and there throughout her life whenever things got tough. But she didn't want him to make the same mistakes that she had already learned from.

Once again, the door is slam shut. She lingered on the other side of it in silence for a few seconds, debating whether or not this was appropriate. This seemed like something that a wife should have been doing, interjecting herself into his room. Callie's stuff was no doubt just as mixed in with his. She'd heard a couple of things about her living there but tried not to think much about it, knowing it wasn't her business. But leaving him alone like this just felt wrong, and she didn't trust Meredith or Cristina enough to be able to handle something so delicately without being crass. She took a deep breath before giving a quiet knock on the door before twisting the knob open and allowing her head to peak in.

"George, are you sure you want to be alone right now? It just seems like... a bad idea." April questioned hesitantly.

"You can come in, if you want." There's something hesitant in his voice but for the moment, she chose to ignore it, stepping into the room and closing the door behind her. She was careful to step over the scattered clothes before sitting down next to him on the bed.

"If you want to talk about it, I'll listen, you know? I'm not going to make fun of you for getting emotional." Like some of their other coworkers might. The addition was silent yet the both of them knew that it was there nonetheless. They were the soft ones of the group, the ones who allowed themselves to both do and feel. There was some kind of shared bond between the two of them for that. "Or we can do whatever you want."

George shook his head, hands on his knees and leaning forward slightly. "I don't need to talk about it." He insisted. The practice of swallowing his emotions was something that he'd had to develop here with his residency, trying to avoid the constant brutal comments that came from the other interns in the group. But he knew that April wasn't like that, it was why he'd accepted the company in the first place.

"I just... I need to not think." Before April could properly process his words, George had turned toward the redhead. Hands grab her face roughly and his lips were forced against hers in a hard kiss, leaning into her fully. 

Panicked by the inappropriate gesture, April froze in place, unable to reciprocate nor push him off of her. She knew that people processed grief differently and while this was something that she herself would have never done, she'd knew well of bad coping mechanisms and considered this to just be another one of them. Hands raise up awkwardly to try and get him to stop, but the signal that George received was a completely different one. His tongue was forced into her mouth, beginning to try and move so that he could lay on top of her and pin her down on the bed. His wife, her boyfriend, they weren't on his mind. Nothing was, really, other than suppressing his emotions in whatever way possible.

That's enough for her horror to outweigh the fear of making things awkward, hands pushing at his chest to get him off of her, practically jumping back onto her feet. Wide eyes stared down at George and his confused expression in horror, shaking her head.

"I–I–I'm just gonna... I'm gonna leave you alone, yeah."

________________________

The next day at work, April was avoiding everyone.

She didn't blame herself for what had happened. Maybe for not being clear immediately, but she knew that he was acting out. But the idea of seeing Callie or well, the majority of their coworkers? Terrifying. She'd never been good at keeping things secret.

"Hey. How was yesterday?"

April all but jumped out of her skin when her boyfriend snuck up on her, eyes flying wide open to turn and look at Jackson. Mouth fell agape. Planning on telling him had come to mind, but she'd decided against it. She didn't want to create any drama or tension around the hospital, and something like that was never going to happen again. Even if it wasn't a discussion, and never would be something that she'd consider... she knew that it was something known between the both of them. There was no way. She'd brushed her teeth too many times afterward.

"It, uh– it was fine, yeah. Totally fine." She squeaked out.

"That bad?" Jackson questioned.

Her hand ran through her hair to push auburn curls back out of her face, taking a deep breath. Keeping it a secret had been a lot better of an idea in theory than in reality. April had been able to open up to him about so many things in her life, more than any other man that she'd ever dated. Her level of comfort around him was insane, the trust built between the two of them wonderful. But this would have been breaking the trust, either way, as far as she was concerned. But this seemed like the lesser of two evils.

"George kissed me," April blurted suddenly, unable to hold it inside.

"What?"

"George kissed me."

Jackson fell silent for a moment, a scowl forming across his features and head dipping down to get a better look at her expression. She looked absolutely horrified with the information that she had unloaded on him, and even though he could see the negative emotions convicted across her expression, there's still an ugly stir of jealousy in the pit of his stomach. 

The thought of anyone kissing her was enough to drive him crazy. But the two of them had been spending so much time together, ever since his father had first ended up in the hospital. April understood the importance of a good father figure, the only other one in his intern group. And even if it's a dirty thought to be jealous of something like that, it's there. He can't make it go away as much as he wanted to. George had just lost his father and yet he wanted to beat the shit out of the younger man for thinking that he had any kind of right to kiss April.

"Explain. What happened?" Clarification was the first thing that he needed, holding his breath in anticipation of what was to be heard.

It's a relatively quick story to have to tell, not much behind the impulsive decision on George's end. She's flustered with every word, every syllable that fell from her lips, unable to meet his gaze as her cheeks reddened with shame. Not her fault, and yet she felt like she had done something wrong nonetheless. A bad habit of hers.

"And you're sure that was it?" Jackson questioned, needing the confirmation.

"Yeah. Nothing else. I-I just froze at first, but I pushed him off and left. I didn't know what else to do."

Jackson wet his lips and looked away for a moment, hand running over his face and fingertips scratching the short stubble growing across his chin. A little more thought would have been enough indication to know that he was overreacting and that the deep envy inside of him was something that was unnecessary, that she felt just as uncomfortable about the situation as he did hearing about it. But knowing that she'd been put into that situation only made rage boil inside of him. Beating the life out of him would have been equally impulsive and probably ended with April feeling just as awkward as before, but the thought was still there, not wanting to go away in the slightest the more that he thought about it. 

Instead of saying anything further, he released the breath that he was holding before pulling her in for a tight hug. Nose buried itself in her hair, fresh smell of her strawberry shampoo hitting his senses. He didn't want to let go of her and he sure as hell didn't know what he was going to do the next time that he saw O'Malley, but he knew that it wasn't likely to be much of a positive interaction between the two of them.

Pulling away from the embrace only a few centimeters, Jackson dropped his head down so that he could press a firm kiss on her lips.

This was the exact kind of kiss that April wanted, the only person that she wanted kissing him. She couldn't help but moan into the kiss in the slightest, passionate and hotter than what most of their interactions inside of the hospital were, his possessive coming out. Maybe under normal circumstances, she would have told him not to be such an alpha male, but right now, it was perfect. Her hands held onto the lapels of his lab coat to hold him in tighter, neither of them breaking away until their lungs were burning for air.

"You're the only one that I want to kiss me, baby," she mumbled into his chest, letting her head fall to rest on it for a moment and listening to the steady sound of his heart beating inside of him.

"Good. Because I'm the only man who's ever going to kiss you again."


	5. What a Difference a Day Makes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based off of 5x22.

Trying on wedding dresses should have been an Olympic sport.

Jackson’s proposal had been beautiful and left April absolutely thrilled to be marrying him. The speech that he had given was heartfelt and genuine, bringing in the surgeries that they had operated on together and other heartfelt memories about the two of them falling in love with each other. The ring was simple yet beautiful, something that could fit underneath surgical gloves without tearing them so long as she was careful. 

Dreaming of planning her wedding had been an activity of hers since she was a child, and yet, she was not the one who was doing most of the planning. Izzie’s cancer had left her stuck in the hospital and she was the only one who possibly could have planned a wedding better than April was. She’d been thrilled about the engagement between her and Jackson, and the reigns of planning had been handed over to her. So when she wasn’t running around the emergency room or inside of an OR, her free time was spent inside of Izzie’s hospital room, giving her approval and googling over different websites and magazines. Izzie’s persistence and opinions were at least much less annoying than her own sisters were, who’d been calling nonstop about details. Giving them the blonde’s phone number was probably torturing on her, but it was a relief for her.

Shockingly, more time had been spent with Alex, as well. He was in her hospital room as frequently as she was, if not more. April had never picked up on just how close the two of them were until now, and she felt stupid for not seeing it sooner. He was kind and good to her. She knew that there had to be something more to his exterior, even if she didn’t have much of a reason to believe it for herself. But now she saw it, even if he probably didn’t want her to. She liked seeing the two of them together.

But there was no relief in the world when it came to trying on wedding dresses, it seemed. This was one point of disagreement between the two of them: their tastes in dresses drastically ventured, Izzie’s more mature than her own. April wanted to look like a princess on her wedding day, but most of her suggestions had been of refined elegance. Not terrible, but not her.

“Izzie, this is…” Her distaste is clear as she stepped out of the bathroom in a mermaid style dress, covered in pearls and lace from head to toe. It has to be out of her budget, she thinks, even though she knew that Jackson had told her not to worry about money. He had all that he could have needed and more. “It’s pretty. Like something you’d see out of a magazine, but… I don’t think that it’s really me. It’s a little tight. I want something a little puffier. A little easier to walk down the aisle in, for sure.” Trust her to give a practical reason with her distaste, never wanting to step on any feelings.

“You look gorgeous, April. C’mon, you have such a cute little figure.”

“That’s easy for you to say.”

Banter is only passed back and forth for a moment before she’s hobbling back into the bathroom to change into another dress, this one a plainer A-line that flowed like the ocean with each slight movement. She wasn’t worried about her body for the wedding, she’d been comfortable since medical school. Her hair was tamed, make up tamed, no worries about pigeon toes as her father walked her down the hallway. That was something.

When she reemerged from the bathroom, Jackson had appeared in the doorway of Izzie’s room and had begun to make small talk with her. His jaw dropped when he turned and saw April.

“Jackson! Come on, you knew we were doing this today,” April whined.

“Well, in my defense, Izzie didn’t tell me to leave,” Jackson brushed off, hands raising defensively.

“April, you’re beautiful, but that dress is terrible anyways. You’re not walking down the aisle in that.” Izzie chimed in. Her comment produced just enough light-hearted laughter between the engaged couple that the bride-to-be brushed off Jackson seeing her like this. The dress was one of the weaker picks, certainly. It just didn’t look good on her and she was sure that no amount of tailoring would be able to change that.

“Besides, you can walk down the aisle in whatever. Jackson cares more about what’s underneath.” 

Alex appeared on the edge of the room with his own commentary, resulting in the playful throw of one of Izzie’s pillows at his head. He caught it without any effort necessary, brushing it off with an arrogant smirk taking over his features. As sweet as he could be on Izzie, he made sure that his moments as a good man were as private as could possibly be. His teasing of April had only relented partly since their first days on the job.

Jackson doesn’t look the least bit shocked at Karev’s comment nor does he disagree, April shooting a glare at everyone in the room before rushing back into the bathroom to get out of the dress and back into her light blue scrubs. It only takes a few moments, and when she returned from the bathroom the three of them were talking about her current condition. Chemo was hard on her like it would be on anyone. But she had to imagine that it was harder for a doctor to go through this than any normal person, able to understand all of it in full. There’s a certain added level of terror.

Slipping up to Jackson’s side and hooking her arm around one of his, the quick kiss on top of her hair doesn’t surprise her. She fell quiet to let the three of them talk about her condition but stayed in the room for silent support. Even though she knew how to have this kind of conversation with a patient, it’s harder with a friend. Much harder.

But the weeks of planning come and go faster than anything that April was really prepared for.

The Friday of their wedding was a tense day. The both of them had taken off of work, but April found herself up at the hospital anyways to be with Izzie for the day. That where most of it was coming, anyway. Her three sisters had all somehow become best friends with her – a surprise, but something that she was eternally grateful for. She wasn’t sure if it was genuine on Izzie’s end, but she hoped so. It made most of the morning go by rather easy, hair and makeup getting done for all of them, sitting around and chatting like they were all best friends. It was perhaps the most relaxed that she was going to be all day.

Lunch leads to her disappearing with her sisters for the hour. Her stress began to go up the later in the day that it became and she knew that she needed to get back to her own apartment for the remainder of the day, but she went back to the hospital to check on Izzie one last time. Another scan was scheduled for today, making sure that the chemotherapy had worked and there wasn’t any further tumor growth in her brain.

When she got down to her patient room, Shepherd, Alex, and Izzie were all discussing the scans already. She didn’t interrupt, waiting until the neurosurgeon had left to speak up. Him being there instead of her oncologist said what didn’t need to be discussed, as did the broken look inside of Alex’s eyes. Izzie had been strong through all of this, and she still was, even with worse news coming around the corner.

“She needs surgery again, doesn’t she?” April asked Dr. Shepherd.

“Yes. We’re scheduling her for next week. I’m sorry, I know she’s your friend.” His hand went to her shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze intended to be comforting. April only nodded blindly, taking a moment to herself after he walked away.

But she doesn’t go into the room. Not immediately. Instead, she fished her phone out of her purse and called Jackson. Maybe the idea was crazy, she knew that her sisters were going to lose her mind, but… this couldn’t be her day anymore. Not when she knew that Izzie was going to need another brain surgery, that the radiation and chemotherapy hadn’t worked. She needed something good right now. Maybe she should have asked Alex first, but she doesn’t.

The greetings are passed quickly, getting rid of Jackson’s worry about her calling only a few hours before the ceremony. She explained that Izzie’s cancer was getting worse, unsurprised by the sympathetic response that he offered her. A few deep, nervous breaths are taken before the suggestion is made.

“I want to postpone our wedding for Izzie,” April started slowly.

“Are you sure? I think she’d want to see it.” A slight pause as Jackson found the error in his words. “I mean, I don’t think the cancer is going to take her. I know what the odds are, but she’s strong. I just think she’d want it now, not to have this get in the way of our wedding,” he elaborated quickly.

“No, I mean, yes. I want there to be a wedding tonight. But I think we should give it to her, and Alex. Let them get married. She already did all of the planning so I know that she’ll be happy with everything that’s going on, and I just… I want her to have something happy. People do better when they’re happy, and this will be good for the both of them. I think that we should give them the ceremony. We can re-plan ours later. I love you and you love me and we have plenty of time to get married. And they… they might not.” April’s voice broke as the last sentence passed through her lips, blinking furiously to try and keep the tears from falling past her lashes.

There’s a quiet pause on the other end of the phone, but it’s not because Jackson thought it was a bad idea. It was wonderful, sweet. Something that he was sure only April would have ever considered doing. There’s the tiniest twinge of disappointment at pushing off their own wedding, but mostly, he’s proud of how mature she’s handling this situation.

“I think that’s a beautiful idea, April,” he answered sincerely. “Why don’t you talk to them about it? I’ll start letting other people know.”

Not much was left to be said after that, exchanging their goodbyes. April took a quick glance at herself in a small mirror to make sure that she didn’t look upset before she knocked on the door, waiting until there was a kind answer before letting herself into the room. A long look is shared between the two of them, and she’s sure that they’re expecting some optimistic load of a speech to come from her. Maybe she’d give that later in the day, but that wasn’t what was on her mind at the moment. Instead, she wanted to give them the best that she could do at this moment.

It’s a long conversation with the two of them, explaining her perspective as best as she could without saying that she thought Izzie wasn’t going to make it longterm, no matter what the statistics said about her condition. But the message is still there and shared with Alex and Izzie, the two of them much more realistic about her cancer than what April generally was. They’re all doctors, after all. There’s no hiding the truth about brain cancer, especially not when it was metastatic.

When she finally exited the room, she felt good about where the day was heading. Maybe the dress would be a little complicated to get Izzie into, but at least it was long – height was a bigger difference between the two of them than size. Shoes were flexible enough, no one would see them. 

Pulling out her phone, she’s received to see one text from Jackson. He’d contacted Izzie’s mom and paid for her to get there in time for the wedding. That was one thing that she knew she probably wouldn’t have been able to figure out for herself, but money went a long way. Even if she normally teased him about his occasional fruitless spending, this was one thing that was worth going all out for. This was something that Izzie, and her mom, would never forget. For the remainder of her life, however short or long it might have been.

“Hi, baby,” she murmured when he picked up the phone. “Thanks for taking care of her mom. I’m going home to talk to my family right now. Do you want to come over now that we’re allowed to see each other again?” April asked.

“Sure, I’ll be over in a few minutes,” Jackson promised. “And April? I love you. As much as I want to marry you, I love what you’re doing. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again. You’re the best woman that I know.”

A blush warmed her features as she got into the car, smiling softly to herself. “Thanks, baby. I’ll see you in a bit.”

Even though it’s always a short drive back to her place, this particular drive felt even shorter than usual. Mostly because she’s not sure how her family was going to take it after they’d all flown out and gotten here. None of them were made of money, but she knew that Jackson was going to offer to foot the bill for them if he hadn’t already. April liked to think that her parents would be proud of her for making such a mature and selfless decision, as they were usually proud of her no matter what she did. She’d been blessed with incredibly supportive parents. Her sisters – well, they were always a hit and miss, no matter what the particular circumstances were. The three of them were hard to predict.

Expectations fall within the realm of her established prognosis, much to her relief. Her mother hugged her so hard she thought her back might actually break. Libby cried. Her two other sisters teased her for her decision and suggested that she wasn’t quite ready to walk down the aisle, but she could tell from the lighthearted nature in their teasing that they thought it was a touching idea. Of course, they all still wanted to come. That made April happy. It seemed like they really had managed to bond with Izzie some – which was good for her. She deserved to have a big network of support of her wedding day, last minute or otherwise.

A pink dress is dragged from the back of her closet, nude heels thrown on. Jackson had come over right after the conversation with her family, making small talk with them while she got ready. It didn’t take nearly as long as usual with her makeup done, opting to take her hair down from the updo so it fell into long curls, not wanting to look too over the top.

“You look gorgeous,” he greeted her when she entered the living room.

“Thanks,” she blushed and glanced away for a moment. “We should go to the church early, make sure that everyone’s set straight. I’m going to see if Izzie needs any help getting ready. You should probably check on Alex, too. I’m pretty sure he wasn’t anywhere near prepared to get married today and he might need a little help.” She suggested.

The two lovebirds depart, the church not far from her own apartment. She’s relieved to see Karev’s car in the parking lot already, taking that to mean that he and Izzie were both already there. The dress is a bit of a burden for April to carry on her own, but she insists on taking the heavy material up to her. There’s less than an hour before the ceremony and she knew that people had already begun to arrive for setting up the ceremony, getting everything arranged in time.

Izzie made a beautiful bride. Even if the dress was in April’s style and not her own, it still looked beautiful on her. Between all of the dolling up, there was nearly no telling that she had cancer in the first place. Tears welled in her eyes as she looked at her, squeezing a hug out of her and kissing her on the cheek softly. “You look beautiful, Izzie,” she complimented. Izzie’s mother was quick to chime in and agree, the other woman having already shed a few tears herself. There’s not too much time to be sentimental, though, nearly running late.

Sitting in one of the pews, Jackson and April were hand-in-hand, beaming at each other nearly as if this was their own ceremony.

“I love you,” he whispered in the middle of the exchanging of vows, pressing a light kiss against the shell of her ears.

“I love you too. We’ll have our own soon enough.”


	6. White Wedding

The next morning, Jackson is warmly wrapped around April’s form.

He was fast asleep, the redhead finding comfort in the steadiness of his breathing just next to her ear. She’d woken up early as she usually did – smart enough to not drink much the night before, knowing the hangover was never worth that extra glass of champagne. The outline of his morning wood was pressed against the curve of her rear was motivation to stay still, not wanting to disturb or make it any worse for him. She knows that he can’t help it, it doesn’t alarm her like it had the first time that she’d woken up to experience that against her backside.

But laying there and listening to him sleep, she allowed her mind to drift to the joyful events of the night before. April hadn’t seen Izzie or Alex smile like that in a long time, not since all of the mess with her cancer had started. She was glad to be able to gift them that, to give them some piece of joy amidst all of the insanity that was currently making havoc of their daily lives.

Envy naturally seeped through her stomach though, wanting it for herself. The engagement ring had been resting on her finger for a long time now, and she had to wonder if Jackson was just as anxious to have a wedding of their own. In general, he was much more relaxed about things, never pushing or shoving. But April thought that he couldn’t be quite as patient as he always displayed.

Her parents and cluster of sisters would all still be in town until tomorrow morning, and she knew that Jackson’s mother had opted to stay in town for a few days. The Avery matriarch always had something going on, one of the pioneers for black women in the field of surgery, and she’d been thrilled at the prospect of just having a few days to chatter and pick her brain. She knew that Catherine though the was a little –– well, quirky. The woman wasn’t subtle, never tried to be, as far as she could tell. 

All of their family still being in town, though… it got her mind wondering. Maybe she’d always planned on a big wedding, but life wasn’t about plans. It was about what happened. Having the people that were close to you there was more important than some big ceremony, expensive food, and ridiculous pastries.

“Good morning.” The sleepy whisper drew her out of her thoughts, feeling Jackson stir behind her and a warm kiss press against the soft spot just behind her ear.

“Hi,” April rolled over, turning to face him. “I have a crazy idea.”

Before she can get out the idea properly, Jackson’s pulled her in closer and meshed their lips together. It’s a little sleepy and a little messy, but mostly lazy. She doesn’t mind the interruption in the slightest, hand moving to cup his features, letting her thumb brush across the light freckles that littered his cheeks. “M’serious,” she finally muttered against his lips.

“What’s up?”

“Let’s get married. Today. Our family is here and that’s all we really need, right? We’ll find someone to officiate it, go to a nice dinner afterward with everyone… let’s just do it. We don’t need a big fancy wedding, you know? We still have our health. We have our entire lives to throw fancy parties or whatever. I wanna marry you.”

Jackson’s brows furrowed together, words having a bit of a sobering effect on the hangover that was still hollowing through his mind. It’s certainly a lot to process in the relatively early hours of the morning – yet he can’t find himself to be opposed to any of it. A cocky smile spread across his features as he stole another kiss from her.

“You really wanna have sex, huh?”

April slapped his arm playfully. “You big perv. I’m serious!”

“Uh huh, I’ll show you big perv.” Jackson laughed as he rolled over on top of her, one forearm balancing him up as his mouth moved to the plane of her stomach, blowing raspberries against the sliver of skin that was revealed. But it’s only a moment before he’s tickling her, leaving her squealing and howling like a maniac with the laughter that fell from her lips, squirming underneath him wildly and making a hoot of noise.

“Stop– stop! I can’t breathe!” April gasped, tears forming midst her eyes. “I’m serious and you’re ruining the moment.” She pleaded.

“I’m being perfectly serious,” he teased, blowing one more raspberry just beneath her belly button before lifting his head up so that he could look her in the eye. “We’ll get married, and I’ll finish this tonight,” Jackson promised, tongue swiping just against the hem of her pajama pants with a smirk growing across his features.

“And you call me a tease,” April accused.

“Well, I’m still the one who’s about to have to go take a cold shower.” Jackson countered.

As crazy as the phone calls made the day before had been, something felt even crazier about this idea. Sure, her family had gotten accustomed to the idea that she was going to be marrying Jackson, but all three of her sisters and her mom had a big, traditional wedding in the church with everyone that she knew, under the eyes of God. At least the latter would still be there, she knew, no matter if it was at a church or a courthouse. God was with her wherever she went, the building housing her wedding wasn’t going to be the thing to determine his presence at her wedding. She knew she could have asked Jackson to have a priest instead of a judge – but she’d let him have this one.

Plans are mad for mid-afternoon and an early dinner reservation for all eight of them. Her sisters all insist on taking her out shopping so that she can get a new dress for the occasion, and she doesn’t mind. The mall takes up most of their afternoon until she found a crisp, tea length dress with gentle lace over the top half, a little too expensive for what it was, but if there was any time to spend a little more than she wanted to, it was now.

Red hair is arranged in delicate curls with all of her sisters fussing over her, and April acting as a moderator. For the most part, she let them do what they wanted when it came to her appearance. As a child, they’d done the same thing – but she hadn’t trusted their instincts then. Now, she knows they wouldn’t do anything less than the best. It was her wedding day, after all, and they’d all shared the same valued experience. They’d want it just as perfect as she did.

The Kepners and Averys take separate cars to the courthouse, trying to give some slim aspect of the bride and groom not seeing each other. That had already been ruined in the morning, but their own quirks would be somewhat satisfied.

Jackson’s eyes set on April when she walked down the hallway, her father attached at her hip and sisters and mother trailing after her like ducklings. A large grin opened up his features as he took in all her details. He thought that she was beautiful in all states of being, whether she was dolled up or early in the morning when she was too exhausted to even open her eyes properly, but he couldn’t deny just how beautiful she was right now. The dress was clearly a nice one, flowing around her with a little bounce as she walked down the hallway, but green eyes didn’t leave the features of her face, meeting eye contact between the two of them.

“Oh, April honey, you look beautiful,” Catherine stepped up warmly before her son could get a word out. She took one of April’s hands, giving it a firm squeeze between the both of them. “Let’s get this show on the road, shall we?” She perked up.

“Of course.” Noises of agreement are heard from all parties involved. 

The paperwork is filled out and all of them cram inside of the judge’s office with smiles everywhere. The ceremony is short but more than enough to satiate everyone. April and Jackson only cared about being married to each other, husband more concerned about the paperwork and wife a little more focused on making sure that God and everyone else bore witness to their union. The parents of each views were aligned almost exactly with that of their children but shared the common point of just wanting to see their baby happy.

Vows are kept on the shorter end, though no less sweet or affectionate. April’s mother couldn’t help the tears that slipped from her eyes hearing Jackson talk about how much he loved her baby girl, Joe Kepner wrapping an arm around his wife and holding her in close. His emotions were much better concealed than that of any of the girls in his family, but there’s still pride in his heart. April had always been the one of his girls who marched to the beat of her own drum, the last to find her way down the figurative aisle. It was a proud moment for him as a father.

By the time that they kiss, all of the family members in the room were clapping. It’s a long and passionate kiss, just enough that the judge in the room has to clear his throat and make a comment about there being other people to see. For once in her life, April doesn’t look embarrassed at the public display of affection.

“Happy wedding day, Mrs. Dr. Avery.” Jackson whispered against her lips, pressing another chaste kiss against her lips before following the rest of his and her – no, their family filing out of the room.

“Mrs. Avery. Dr. Kepner. But thank you, Mr. Dr. Avery.”

The two of them take their own car to get to the restaurant where the reservation is. He’s a bit of a faster driver than either of their parents, the two of them using the extra time in the parking lot for a good old-fashioned, high school style makeout. By the time their parents are parked next to them, April’s in a haste to smooth her hair back out and fix her lipstick.

Hours of conversation at dinner fly by, and the both of them are pleased with how well their families manage to get along for the duration of it. Although they both came from incredibly different backgrounds and had been raised in near opposite settings, differences are cast aside for the most part. It helps that no controversial topic really comes out between any of the family, medical careers set on the back burner besides a few comments about the both of them being so successful– Jackson clearly taking after his mother.

Instead, most of the conversation is spent embarrassing April and Jackson like there’s no tomorrow. Plenty of stories are shared from their childhood and teen years, and Jackson found so many opportunities to laugh that his stomach and cheeks both ached from it. On the other hand, April’s cheeks are so damn red throughout most of the meal, but the smile never leaves either.

The both of them are really, truly happy. There’s not a doubt on either of them minds about that. Even if they hadn’t gotten their fancy wedding, the result was the same. Families loved and adored their presence, the two of them were husband and wife. And there was a large, beautiful rock resting on April’s fourth finger. It was a weight to get used to, certainly, and she’s almost sure that there’s no way that she’s going to be able to put on a pair of medical gloves without tearing through them. Yet for once, she’s not embarrassed about the obvious display of wealth on her finger. It makes her feel like an Avery. Even if his last name was only going to be taken for personal and not professional reasons, she liked the idea that she really, truly was a part of Jackson’s family.

Stomachs are achingly full of salad, steak, and cheesecake by the end of the night. Jackson took the bill without letting April glance at it – getting into a light-hearted disagreement with her father in the process about it. It makes her smile. She’d been so worried that her family wouldn’t approve of him, that there’d be critical comments about his background or beliefs. Maybe that was to come. But she’d take the day as she could.

It’s still relatively early in the evening when they make it to Jackson’s apartment. He insisted on swooping her up into his arms and carrying her to the door bridal style, only setting her down once they’d reached the living room.

“We’re really married,” April sang out, arms wrapping around his shoulders and connecting at the base of his neck.

“Can I have this dance?” Jackson questioned, smiling softly down at his bride.

“Yes, yes you may.”

The two of them dance without music for a long time, swirling around his apartment and barely managing to avoid tripping over any of the furniture. It’s a sweet, hopeful moment, promising of a happy future between the two of them. Jackson spun her around and held her backside against his chest, swaying sound to sound to a song that only the two of them could hear inside of their heads.

Affectionate words are passed between the two of them, nothing more than whispers and soft kisses against each other’s skin. Eventually, there’s no more resistance to the eventual activity meant to end any wedding night. Lips move together with familiarity and only so much self-control can be put on display before Jackson’s bending down to grip both of her thighs, lifting her up with ease and carrying her back toward his bedroom. It’s a careful movement to get her laying down on his bed, avoiding separating their lips as much as he possibly could.

“Mm–wait,” she finally paused to mumble against his lips. “I have a certain image of how this is supposed to go. Sort of. I’ve got to change. You can strip down. To boxers, only, please and thank you.” 

A short kiss is pressed against his lips and April slipped out from underneath him, prancing over toward his bathroom. The lingerie had been purchased for their wedding and honeymoon but she’d slipped it underneath the dress today, a lacy pushup bra that even she was impressed by the appearance of her breasts when she looked at herself in the mirror. The panties were a normal, cheeky cut but composed entirely of white lace. She was sure that he would be more than pleased with her picks.

Stepping out of the bathroom, a shy smirk is worn on her cheeks as she awaited his reaction.

“Wow.” Jackson deadpanned for a moment to appreciate her form, feeling a stir of desire deep in his belly that immediately put some attention on his cock. He stepped toward her, hands moving to her hips and pulling her in closer. Their lips meet in a hard, passionate kiss, clear that this was going to go much further than what they had ever done before.

It’s a slow and steady movement to get her onto his bed. As much as Jackson wanted this, as he had for months, he doesn’t want to move to fast or risk overwhelming her. There’s plenty of kissing, shifting over so that she was on top of him. Her weight against him was perfect, the squirms that she offered as his hands moved to massage her breasts over the bra providing friction that only had him straining against her.

Bra is quickly removed, tossing it aside. Great as it may have been, what it contained was much more of interest to him. His thumbs brushed across rosy nipples, feeling them harden in response to the gentle contact. Little sparks shoot through April and she arched her back in response to his touch, teeth chewing on her lower lip.

A small instruction is given to let her shift upward, breasts becoming about even with his face. Opportunity taken, tongue brushes over the sensitive nipple and Jackson took pride in the sound of her gasping above him. Teeth follow suit, giving the slightest tug at the hardness and feeling her shiver. Attention is switched to the other breast, giving it the same attention. A small suck is given, enjoying the mewling noises that were made above him. His hands drift at the same, slipping beneath lace and pushing it down toward her thighs.

“April,” he murmured her name against her skin. “I want you to sit on my face.”

“Really?” April paused slightly, waiting for his confirmation.

“Yeah. You’ll like it, trust me.”

Trust, of course, was not an issue between the two of them. With his guidance, April shifted so that her thighs straddled either side of his head, slowly sinking down and hovering over his face. When a warm tongue first makes contact with her soaking folds, a moan immediately parted her lips, catching the redhead off guard. But it only takes a few seconds before she realized exactly why he had wanted her to do this. 

Jackson had full access to all of her, muscular arms wrapping around her thighs and pulling her down toward his face, encouraging her. His licked and sucked with every opportunity, making sure not to miss any of it. It’s not until she’s really wet that he finally gave attention to the bud begging for attention, teeth scraping ever so gently against her clit and feeling the buck of her hips. Tongue followed suit to pay attention to it. 

April ground down against his face, overwhelmed with the pleasure that coursed through her veins. She could feel heat building explosively in the pit of her stomach, much faster than what she expected. Plenty of horror stories had been heard about first times, but this was something else – this was absolutely amazing. His name and a plethora of swear words fell from her lips, hands gripping onto the headboard as she grew closer and closer to her peak. When it finally came to her, she screamed out his name and her hips pushed down against his face to ride it out.

It’s difficult to breathe when she does that, but he doesn’t mind giving it to her in the slightest. Eventually, she backs off, giving him the chance to fill his lungs with oxygen once more as she moved down, sitting on his chest for a moment to recover.

“Told you,” he said with a cocky grin. 

“We’re gonna have to do that again,” April commented, shifting and leaning down to kiss him. She can taste herself on his lips – it’s weird, a little, but she doesn’t mind the messiness on his face for the moment. There’s no one to blame for that but herself, after all.

Midst the kissing, a slow start to give her a moment to recover, Jackson rolled the two of them over so that he could be on top for this. The kisses became longer and deeper, eventually finding his hips giving a small grind against hers as the need became more and more prominent. His boxers had a slight wet spot from the combination of his own precum and being pressed against her dripping core.

“I’m ready, Jackson,” April mumbled against his lips.

Nothing more than that is needed. Boxers are discarded with haste and he’s slow, careful to push inside of her and make sure that she had plenty of time to adjust to his girth. Maybe he’s a little cocky for the most part, but he knows that he’s bigger than the average guy, that it’s a little bit much to be taking on the first time. He stilled about halfway inside of her until she nodded her head as permission for more, slowly canting his hips so that he could get himself as far deep in her. She felt impossibly good, warm and tight around his length.

“More, baby,” she pleaded.’

“Okay.”

Movements begin slow and steady, praise falling from Jackson’s lips with ease as he moved inside of her. His mouth finds home on the curve of her neck, giving it soft kisses and slight sucks. Marks would certainly be left in the morning, proof to anyone that saw her that their marriage had absolutely been consummated.

He’d been with April a long time, without sex for a long time, and he knew that there was no way he was going to last very long, not when she felt this good around him. Holding his weight up with one hand, the other dipped between their legs to find the apex of her thighs again, thumb gently moving against her swollen and sensitive clit. It does the trick for her, turning soft moans and gasps into much louder ones, feeling the tight squeezes of her walls around him.

“I want to cum at the same time, Jackson,” April breathed out. The fullness inside of her was something else, but something about the pressure mixed with the light touches of his thumb was sending her toward her edge, the perfect combination of what she needed to have another orgasm.

“I’ll finish when you do, I promise.” Mostly because he knew that there was no way he’d be able to last through her coming.

A promise not hard to keep, really. When April cried out his name again and finished for the second time, the spasming of her walls around his length was all that he needed to come over his own edge. He spilled himself inside of her, hips jerking with a few last thrusts as he emptied out. Falling still is easy, allowing a few long moments to pass before he pulled out of her. He rolled onto his side, not putting much distance between them, hand resting on her stomach.

“I love you, Jackson,” she murmured fondly, stretching her neck to steal another kiss.

“I love you too, wifey.”


	7. Death and All His Friends

No one knew that April was pregnant.

Not even a peep had been made to Jackson when the positive pregnancy test had come back, as she was absolutely determined to find the most perfect way possible to tell him. Cliche idea after cliche idea had been recycled through her brain as she tried to settle on something that was both cute, clever, and would manage to fit the dynamic of their relationship. She’d always been a little bit of a perfectionist, and this was just one of those moments where the dynamic would come out to shine all too clearly, for better or for worse.

The pregnancy test was kept hidden in the back of her locker, not wanting anyone to stumble upon it by accident and risk the secret coming out prematurely. It couldn’t have been more than six weeks along and she knew that some women waited, but there was no way that she would be able to keep herself from telling Jackson for that long. She wanted him to know in the best way possible.

But life, as always, had other plans.

A quick supply run into the closet and she comes face to face with the most terrifying thing in her life. Easy slip is taken and an attempt is made to catch herself, but the floor is slicker than she’d realized. Her head lifted up, slight ache from where it had met the floor, only to realize it’s not water that caused her fall – it’s blood. Gaze shifted forward away from crimson stained hands, and she’s come face to face with Reed’s body, a bullet wound resting just in the center of her forehead.

No scream, no sob escaped. Instead, she’s stilled for what felt like an impossibly long time as she stared at the figure in front of her. She’d hardly known the woman. An outsider, coming in after the merger, and yet she can’t think of anyone worse that could have been found in the heat of her panic.

“Oh god, oh god–“ It takes too much time to get herself back onto her feet and heading down the hallway, her normally light blue scrubs sticking to her frame heavily as she made her way to the chief’s office.

She can’t quite remember what happened in the next few minutes, the blinds around her being drawn and Derek moving around her. Words come out of her mouth but the shock is too heavy and present for her to be able to process the fact that she’s actually speaking, let alone offering some kind of thin explanation to what she’d found. Terror like this was something that she’d never been confronted with, not in the same way. Death was something that she’d faced before – she’d seen it in plenty of other people as a doctor and nearly faced it herself after the incident with the ferry boat, yet this chilled her blood, unlike anything before it.

Jackson was in the middle of surgery when the notification came up on their pagers and doesn’t react to it nearly as vividly as some of the others in the room. Instead, he asks one of the scrub nurses to send a text to his wife and make sure that she was fine but otherwise was able to return to the surgery like there was nothing abnormal about the day. Finishing up, they’re reminded to stay put. But he can’t bring himself to do that. 

Instead, he opted to take the patient down to recovery himself. It wasn’t that far, it’d be a quick in and out. April hadn’t answered his text message after he’d finished up and that had begun to raise his stress. He wanted out mostly so that he could go and check on her as soon as it was done.

Wandering the hallways of the empty hospital was a lone gunman, Gary Clark. Alcohol was still heavy on his breath, unable to go through this in the right state of mind entirely, splatters of blood staining the shirt and jacket that he wore. He hated being here nearly as much as everyone quivering in lockdown hated the fact that he was here. This was the place that his wife had died. It’d been a stupid, elective procedure. One that he hadn’t wanted her to go through in the first place and yet she had insisted on it. There’d been a complication and she’d apparently signed off on refusing any care to extend her life, but that was something that he couldn’t accept. Alice wouldn’t leave him behind, not like that. There had to be some fault at the hospital.

And more specifically, there had to be some fault on the shoulders of Jackson Avery. He had been the one to assure him that it was just an elective procedure with a great rate of recovery, that she should have been fine within days of her surgery. And he had lied. No one was fine. And he certainly would not be by the end of the day.

April had been told to stay put, and yet she can’t bring herself to do so. Pacing the length of the chief’s office only satiated her need to be doing something for so long, but with the shock beginning to wear off, the more and more she realized that she couldn’t just stay in some office. It felt like she was a sitting duck more than anything, and the idea of ending up like Reed absolutely terrified her. She didn’t want to die. Today was supposed to be a good day – a happy day. Today was supposed to be the day that she told her husband that she was pregnant. Today was not supposed to be the day that the hospital was on lockdown.

But movement outside of the room is just enough to draw her attention and keep her inside for a little bit longer. The office overlooked just enough of the hospital that she could try and peek out through the tiny hold in the blinds where the strings were slotted through, twisting and turning her head to try and get a view of anything that she could.

When a figure catches her eye, she’s relieved to see that it’s Jackson hurrying across the hallway. He was fine. April was about to step toward the door of the office and whisper for him to get in there with her when she realized that there was another figure just within her sight, squinting a little harder to try and recognize it. No recognition clicks. What she did see, however, stopped her heart.

A gun in his hand.

“Jackson!” April screamed his name through the glass and she can tell that she’s at least be heard by her husband from the way that he spins around looking for her. But the movement is just enough to set the shooter over the edge.

Gary Clark’s hand rose up, and he pulled the trigger twice. He doesn’t miss.

More screaming and howling escaped from the redhead’s lips as she watched her husband go down, hitting the floor hard and blood beginning to pour out from around him. She’s not sure if it’s the screaming or the moving police presence inside of the building that sent the shooter in the other direction, but whatever it is, she’s grateful for it. Because there’s no control, no sense of logic or questioning of her safety, as she flung herself out of the office and down the hallway toward her bleeding husband.

“Baby, baby, hold on. I’ve got you, I’ve got you – please just try and stay awake for me, okay? I’m right here. This is what I’m good at, you know that. Just try and stay awake for me.” The ramblings are messy as they fall from April’s lips, hands shaking as she tried to pull the doctor inside of herself, tried to allow it to take control instead of the terrified wife. But there was only so much that she could do to control that.

It’s luck that has others in the hospital still out and about. Cristina and Owen both find her, and him. The three of them manage to get him into a gurney and moving quickly down toward one of the operating rooms. Everything was still shut down and it would just be the three of them – no more, no less, no scrub nurses for help. They would have to figure it out themselves.

If you asked April what she remembered of it, there’s not a lot that she could say. It was a horrifying blur.

Cristina and Owen, on the other hand, remember the event with clarity. April was a sobbing mess but refused to leave the operating room. She needed to be there, tried to hold his hand, but ends up spat at for her own sake to try and keep her out of the way. She ends up sitting on the floor of the O.R. leaning with her back against the wall, staring at the two of them. Neither of them makes conversation, not much more than a mumble, not wanting to give April any kind of information that could further scare her or send her over the edge. It was mostly at Owen’s insistence more than Cristina’s – but even she understood the severity of this situation. As much ridicule as she had put the redhead through over the years, this wouldn’t be one of the matters that she harassed her for.

And it’s Cristina who notices the fact that sitting on the floor, there’s blood pulling around April’s thigh. It’s just enough to make her pause what she’s doing and stare at her with wide-eyed concern before blurting out what, to her, was obvious.

“Kepner, you’re bleeding. Were you shot?”

It takes April a moment to realize what’s going on, to properly hear the observation. She’d already been crying, her eyes red and raw from all of the salty tears that had been shed sitting there. She doesn’t have any left to cry when her head drops down and sees it. It almost looks like a period gone horribly wrong, but she’s not some messy teenager. She knows exactly what it is.

“April– come here, let me take a look at you.” Owen insisted from his stance at the operating table with Cristina, not wanting to walk away from it (because he knew how she would react) but not wanting to leave her in that kind of condition.

“It’s fine. I’m–I’m having a miscarriage. Just please keep going. I can’t lose him. I can’t lose both of them,” she cried out, a hand coming up to cover her mouth as dry sobs shook her entire frame.

The situation was an uncomfortable one for any surgeon to be operating in, but particularly for the two of them. Cristina, who had never particularly liked April and all of her emotional ticks, forced to have more of a heart in the moment than what she wanted to confront. And Owen had always seen a lot of potential in the resident with a future as a trauma surgeon, enjoyed teaching her thoroughly. It hurts him like it would hurt a father to see her like this.

But eventually, the surgery does come to an end. And the heart rate monitors are still beeping steadily, letting her know that he was indeed alive no matter how terrifying all of it had been. The lockdown came to an end too.

Cristina was the one to take her back to the locker room and help her get cleaned up, stealing paper panties and a pad from the hospital in case there was more blood to come, giving her a fresh pair of panties to put on. None of it was going to help, but at least she’d be clean and not walking around like a bloody mess. She probably didn’t want any more questions, not when they would already be plenty by the police about what she had seen.

April doesn’t know how the shooter came to his end, and she doesn’t care.

When she’s alone in the locker room, she digs into the back of the locker and pulls out the positive pregnancy test. It was in a Ziploc bag, a pristine presentation just in case she’d decided she wanted to do something a little simpler or a little more straightforward. But now, it doesn’t matter. Their baby was gone. But at least he wasn’t. It was the only little bit of hope that she could manage to bring herself to hold onto in the moment. She’d lost something, but she hadn’t lost everything. What she still had left at the end of the day had to be appreciated, even if it was her unconscious husband attempting to recover in a patient room. That was better than nothing.

The pregnancy test is dropped in a trashcan, and she’s quick to rearrange the wrappers and items in there to make sure that it didn’t stick out for whoever came by to throw away something next. It was better that no one knew. She wouldn’t be able to handle all of the talk. She already could barely handle the current circumstances.

Loyally arranged in one of the chairs in his room, her head rested on the bed by his hand, fingers laced on top of his gently and listening to the sound of his heart beating on the monitor. They could have another baby, and she knew that even if it didn't entirely ease the pain of losing their first. But there was nothing in this world that would ever be capable of replacing or easing the loss of the man that she loved.

Jackson stirs awake and her eyebrows perk up, but she doesn't lift her head. It takes him a few minutes before he's capable off really coming to his surroundings, green eyes blinking a few times to try and make sense of it all.

"April?"

"Hi, baby," she gave a slight squeeze of his hand and offered him an exhausted smile. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired," Jackson breathed out, brow furrowing for a moment and giving a glance around. It took a few long seconds before the memories came rushing back to him – albeit, brief ones. The gun pointing at him, the sounds of it being fired echoing loudly in his ears. Then the sound of her sobbing over him, begging him to stay awake. He couldn't remember anything more than that, and those memories were fuzzy at best. "Are you okay?"

April nearly choked at the question but lifted her head, nodding slowly with teary eyes. "I'm fine," she lied. "I'm just glad you're awake."

"'Course," he gave a slight nod. "How did the surgery go?"

"You're going to be just fine," she spared him the details for the sake of the both of them. "I love you, Jackson. I love you so much. You scared me."

"I love you too, April," Jackson replied without pause. "Nothing like that's ever happening again. I promise."


	8. Suddenly

It’s definitively a political statement that brings a group of refugees from war-torn parts of the world to the hospital. Neither April nor Jackson were sure what exactly inspired it besides general distaste in the world’s current political climate, but both of them were fully on board with the plan. He’d gotten scans of a boy whose hands were littered with tumors and never gotten the chance to have any kind of surgery on it. That was the kind of surgery that he loved, something that was equally challenging and life-changing. Kids aren’t his usual domain unless it’s children with a cleft palate, so this would be a good change of pace for him.

April, on the other hand, hadn’t been assigned to any particular case. Not every surgeon had received one – in part because there weren’t funds to cover enough, and it was still important to keep the emergency room had one. She’d been bouncing back and forth with making sure that everything was organized: a bit of an administrative role, but she hadn’t complained about it.

Today was the day that they were finally arriving, and she was bouncing off the walls about it.

“Babe, take it down a notch,” Jackson chuckled with amusement, pulling her in by her hips so that her back was against his front and dropping his head to place a kiss on top of her head. “You’re going to scare them off if you go at them with too much energy.”

“Shh,” April replied without missing a beat. “I’ve been teaching myself some Arabic. I’m excited to try it! Will you let me talk to your boy? Kamal? I think I sound okay. Murhaba, 'ana tabib Kepner.” It’s an attempting at saying hello, I’m dr. Kepner. It could have been worse, but it was distinctly American sounding more than anything else, not quite picking up on the lighter edges of the language.

“You sound great,” he complimented. “And yes, you can talk to Kamal. We’ve just got to make sure that we give him and all of the other kids a little time to adjust. This is a big deal for all of them.”

“I know, I know.”

Tons was going on at once when the kids finally arrived and as much as April wanted to stay and try to help them adjust, her pager goes off with an emergency that has her running down to the emergency room. Jackson, as well as a few other of the attendings and the residents working on the cases of the children, were all there to accept the kids and their representatives with open arms. It doesn’t take that much time to get them up to a patient room, and he’s enthusiastic as ever with the kid. Much to his surprise, Kamal does speak English – rather well, from what he can tell, even though the boy didn’t speak a lot. He looked like he was on the shy side.

One of the first things that he decides to do is take him for more scans. The ones that he had received weeks ago in preparation for the boy didn’t look anything like what he was witnessing. His hands were completely covered in tumors masses, Ollier's disease had progressed much further than what Jackson had anticipated. Tumor resection had been the plan, but now it was apparent that that wasn’t as good of an option as he initially thought that it had been. The enchondromas were everywhere, hand nearly unrecognizable save for the thumb.

A heavy heart had ordered a biopsy of the tissue on his hand, wanting to understand the full extent of what he was working at. Amputation wasn’t something that he wanted to do – not with a kid this young, certainly. Prosthetics were looking like the only option, but he wasn’t sure what this kid’s life was going to look like after surgery. It made every decision that much harder.

Taking after his wife, pacing the length of the room as he examined the scans with further detail was the only thing that he could settle on for the moment. The last thing that Jackson wanted to do was go back there with negative news. Even if Kamal was on the quiet end, he seemed like a sweet kid. He and the woman with him had talked about how he’d been living at the hospital for years now, always finding odd jobs to do for the doctors and the rest of the staff there. A kid like that was a good one – maybe it was a gut feeling that he was going off of, but he knew that this kid was one of the good ones. He had just been surrounded by bad circumstances his entire life.

“Hey!” April chirped, popping her head into the room. “Are these Kabal’s scans?”

“Yeah…” Jackson sighed as he answered, turning around to face her and running his hand over the back of his head. “They’re a lot worse than the ones that I was sent. I’m waiting on a biopsy for the tumor but at this point… I really don’t see any way for me to save this kid’s hands.”

A frown pulled across April’s lips, folding her arms in front of her ribs and stepping in to get a better look at the scans herself. “You really think tumor resection is completely off the table?” She questioned as she picked one up.

“It’d take a complete hand reconstruction. I’m not sure if there’s viable bone left to piece it together,” he answered. “I’ve gone over there for… hours now, and I don’t think it’d be reasonable to go in there and tell that kid that this is something that I can do.”

“Don’t you want to at least try?” April questioned.

“Of course I want to try. That’s not the point.” He shook his head as he spoke.

Eyebrows arch up at him silently for a moment before she took another look at the scans. Even though she’d been on his service plenty of times before, plastics had never taken her interest in the same way it took him – that was something that the both of them knew. “Maybe you should page Torres,” April suggested hopefully. “Have her take a look and see if it’s possible to get a hand reconstruction done for him. A fresh set of eyes might help you.” She’s not entirely sure if he would take the idea because she knew how locked into his ways he could get sometimes.

Before Jackson could get a chance to agree or disagree, one of the interns working on his case came in with the results of the biopsy. The younger male stuttered for a moment without any great clarification, thinking that he’d interrupted some kind of moment between husband and wife, handing them to Jackson before scampering off out of the room.

“What are we…” his words are more of a mumble than anything coherent as he picked up the results, brow furrowing as he looked over them himself. A frown formed quickly. “The biopsy is showing pre-cancerous cells inside of his hand. That makes amputation the best option.” He announced as he looked up at her, setting the results back down on the table to see the deep frown that he was met with.

April wasn’t happy with the results, but she didn’t get much of a chance to express that with him before her pager was going off. She pulled it off her belt to check it, sighing when she saw that it was a 911 from Hunt. “I’ve got to go, Dr. Hunt needs me,” she said as she started for the door. “Just keep looking at it, okay? Maybe some moment of inspiration or something will hit you. If anyone can come up with something, it’s you. Love you!” The last two words are called off from down the hallway as the redhead disappeared down in the opposite direction.

The words are taken to heart, but Jackson wasn’t sure what else he could do at this point. He paced the room for a few moments longer, looking over all of the information he had about Kabal’s hands again and again. He wanted to do something more, but the doctor inside of him was telling I’m that this was the best thing that he could do for the kid. A part of him just continued to disagree loudly, over and over again.

But he couldn’t ignore the doctor inside of him, not yet.

Going down to Kabal’s room, the conversation that he has to have with the young boy is one that hurts. Jackson doesn’t want to tell him that amputation is the best option and yet he’s bound by his profession to do so. What hurts more than telling him is watching that hope inside of the young boy become completely crushed by the words and the explanation that he has to give. Prosthetics are brought up for after surgery, but it didn’t seem to repair any of the emotional damage that he had already done in the situation. By the time he’s walked out of the room, he felt even worse about the situation. All he wanted to do was make this kid’s life better, and yet it seemed like everything was pointing him into the opposite direction.

Even though she hadn’t had a case of her own, April had gone off and tried to teach herself Arabic for the sake of making these kids feel more comfortable. Jackson loved his wife more than anything in the world, and one of the things that he loved most about her was her incomprehensible kindness. It was something that he was envious of, in a way, that she just came up with these amazing things to do.

It was something that he wanted to do.

The shooting, the near-death experience, that had brought out something different inside of him. He wanted to do better, be better. Even though it hadn’t brought him the radical change in faith that Jackson suspected April might have hoped it had, it made him question whether he was doing enough for the world, leaving enough of a good impact in his wake. Weeks after his recovery, only when he was back at work, had April told him about the other thing that they had lost that day. The baby. She’d been able to hide it from him for so long to not make things on his end any worse, and she’d been so strong. Sometimes, he nearly forgot about just how strong she really was, but that had been more than enough evidence for the case.

Maybe today, maybe this time, he could do something a little more like his wife. The surgery had already been scheduled for the next morning, but he can’t get it out of his head by the time they’re in bed together that night.

April was curled up comfortably by his side, Jackson laying flat on his back with his arms folded behind his head, a clear sign that he was in thought and not intending on resting for the night just yet. Even without the scans in front of him, he can see them just as clearly in front of his eyes. Too much time today had been spent memorizing every little bit of them, committing them to memory far more than he would have with any other patient.

“I really want to do something for this kid,” Jackson admitted with a soft sigh.

“I know,” she murmured, pressing a kiss against his ribs.

The next morning, it’s tense between the both of them – mostly because of the weight that was currently resting on Jackson’s shoulder to try and do something good for this kid, shutting down emotionally from her. Getting to work, one of the interns had already set Kabal up to pre-op to get him ready for the surgery. He scrubbed into slowly, taking a little longer than usual to make sure that his hands were as clean as possible, even if his mind wasn’t entirely focused on the task.

It’s not until he’s in the operating room and Kabal is under, April sitting upstairs in the gallery and staring down at him with those big, hopeful eyes that his decision is made up fully. He can’t go through with the amputation. He has to do something more. He has to try.

“Page Torres,” Jackson announced as he set down his tool. “Change of plans. We’re going to do a tumor resection and hand reconstruction. Start looking for viable bone now.”

Watching in the gallery, the smile that spread across April’s face could have outshone the smile, hands clapping and clasping together beneath her chin. “He’s going to try,” she whispered in excitement to herself, nearly bouncing off her chair. She knew that she could’ sit there all day and watch the procedure, even as much as she wanted to, she had to get back to work down in the E.R. But this was more than enough to be able to get her through the rest of her day with high spirits.

The surgery is a long and growling task to be able to get through. It was a huge risk to be doing this change of plans at the last minute, a monumental challenge in the first place. Torres looked at him like he was crazy when she walked in and saw what he was working with, and it was one of those moments where he had to pull rank on her to get her to stop questioning it and go along with what he was doing. Hours and hours were spent inside of the operating room in order to fix Kabal’s hands. By the time that they finally finish up and get him moved to post-op, the condition of his hands aren’t entirely perfect and would likely need more surgeries in the future, but they were a hell of a lot better than anything that he would have expected. And he felt good about it.

Flying on a certain euphoria after the surgery, the first thing that Jackson does is go down to the emergency room to find his wife. He’d struck gold with luck, finding her just finishing up on a pile of charts instead of busy with a patient, momentarily grateful to hunt and his aversion to paperwork as a whole.

“Hey,” Jackson greeted, bending down for a kiss. “Guess what?”

“Kabal’s hands look amazing?”

“Kabal’s hands look amazing.”

April squeals with the confirmation that he offered, hands coming up to cup her husband’s cheeks as she gave him another kiss, harder and longer than the last. Jackson returned the fervent motion eagerly, pushing her back into the nurse’s station for a moment until someone walking by clears their throat obnoxiously to try and pull the two of them out of it. Though her cheeks are flushed with embarrassment, he continued to beam with pride.

“I’m so proud of you, baby,” she praised with a bright smile. “You made the right call in there. I knew that you would. You always do the right thing.” One of the many things that April absolutely adored about her husband. Even if they didn’t exist on the same page about everything, she’d never doubted the fact that he was a good, wholesome man. Maybe he didn’t believe in the Bible or God in the same way that she did, but she was certain that he was crafted by the God that she loved. Only He was capable of making someone as amazing as the man that she had married. Even if some credit is owed to his mother.

“I want to do more for him,” Jackson admitted, fingers moving to tuck auburn locks of hair back behind April’s ear and combing through them slightly, giving one strand the slightest twirl around his finger. “I have an idea, but I’m not sure if you’re going to go for it.” He explained, gaze moving to meet her eyes.

Her eyebrows quirked up curiously at his choice of words, head giving the slightest tilt to the side though she doesn’t back away from him any. “Well, what were you thinking about?”

“I think that we should petition to adopt him.”

She paused curiously for a moment, eyebrows dropping back down to form a furrow. After this miscarriage, she’d been scared to bring up the idea of trying for a baby. She thought that maybe it was something that they could hold off on until after she’d taken her boards, gotten a little more established in her own career. But for a brief, selfish moment, she can’t help but wonder if this meant that he’d given up on the idea of her being able to have a baby. From one simple thing, during the most stressful moments of her life. A slight sting formed in her heart despite the instinct to try and furiously bury it back down. 

“You really think so?” She questioned hesitantly, not wanting to step on the idea or shoot him down. “What about… having a kid of our own?”

“We can do both,” Jackson answered quickly. “Both. But I think we can give him a better life, outside of the hands. I mean, that’ll be a great start for him, but we can do so much more than just that. We have money, we can give him opportunities that he’s never had before… and you know, we can definitely have a kid of our own. We’ll have an awesome kid. Whenever you’re ready to do that. But you know, he’s half grown already and… he just needs people to take care of him. With his condition, too, I think it’ll be good to have two doctors as parents.”

The elaboration does bring some desperately needed comfort to her mind, though she does pause to wet her lips. Normally she was the one who had the crazy, out there ideas – it was a little weird to have it coming from Jackson. But it was clear that this was something he was taking seriously, she could see the spark of excitement inside of his eyes as he spoke about it.

Slowly, she gave a nod of her head. “We can do this. There’s a lot to talk about, but we can do it.”

And plenty of conversations were held about it over the next few weeks, going back and forth about how to approach it, figuring out the legal and financial expenses – even if the latter was rather unnecessary given the money that came with being an Avery. Lawyers were consulted. Jackson did most of the paperwork that came with it, April looming over his shoulder but letting him dedicate himself to it. Kabal’s hands were healing nicely throughout the process though it’d become abundantly clear that more surgery would be necessary. But that was something that they could handle.

When the day finally comes that all of the paperwork is finalized and Kabal is officially theirs, tears are shed. Many, many tears. Even though April was typically the emotional one, it’s Jackson who does most of the crying, filled with relief that he was going to be able to do right by this boy, that the two of them were finally going to get their chance to be parents. Everything was coming into place.

"We got our baby boy."


	9. I Was Made for Lovin' You

“It’s just a stomach bug.” April moaned out, exasperated in her seat on the bathroom tile.

Worry wrinkled Jackson’s expression as he peered down at his wife, moving the box of tissues closer to her so that she could wipe her face. Getting sick was just the human thing to do no matter how doctors tried to deny it for themselves, and with her work in the emergency room, it shouldn’t have been a surprise that she would come across a nasty bug now and then. But logic doesn’t make him feel any better in the moment, squatting down next to her and placing a hand on her knee, giving it as reassuring of a squeeze as he can muster up.

“You sure you don’t want me to stay home with you, baby? I don’t mind. Sloan can cover my procedures today.” He nearly insisted.

April gave a weak shake of her head before dropping its back down to rest on the arm bent on the toilet seat, taking a deep breath as if that would doing anything to compete with nausea inside of her. The coolness helps on a superficial level, perhaps, but doesn’t stop the churning inside of her. “I’ll be fine, I promise,” she murmured, eyes shutting for a moment. “I’m gonna get back up and lay down in a minute. Go get ready for work.”

There’s a hesitant look before Jackson straightens back up to leave her be, aware that it was probably just her subtle way of requesting privacy. He did need to put on something a little more respectable for work, anyways. And he was right – moments after the bathroom door shut behind him again, April was right back to empty the few remaining contents of her stomach into the toilet bowl.

The groan that left her lips immediately after is somewhat annoyed, quickly leaning back to flush it away. Normally for a stomach bug, throwing up made her feel somewhat better, some kind of twisted relief for getting it out. But this time, even with a stomach only containing bile and acid, she still felt like crap.

Cleaning up the mess and brushing her teeth vigorously to try and get the nasty taste out of her mouth, she’s slow moving as she made her way back into the bedroom and fell onto the bed. Jackson had just finished up getting dressed, bothering with a proper dress shirt and tie for the sake of the meeting of department heads that he had today. She can just barely remember him complaining about it the night before, even if her thoughts while feeling so nasty are admittedly rather self-absorbed.

“Make sure you get some real rest, okay?” Jackson commented, moving over to the bed to adjust her gently and get her tucked beneath the bedsheets properly. “Don’t just lay down for twenty minutes and then end up cleaning the kitchen. Just because you’re not a resident anymore doesn’t mean you want to miss out on a lot of work.”

It’d been a miracle that her boards had gone over as well as they had. All of the rumors that one of them would fail, statistically, had really gotten inside of her head and had led to more than a few moments of panic both before and after. Meredith and Cristina had both seemed so eerily calm about dealing with their own, and Alex had been some preoccupied with his own patient that it seemed like a damn miracle that he had come out on top. But maybe it made sense. One out of five was supposed to fail, and by the time that their boats had come around, there had only been four of them in the first place. It was as if their culling had just come much earlier than some of the other hospitals across the country.

“Promise.” Maybe. “Tell Kamal I love him, okay? I don’t want to get him sick.”

Not long after Jackson left for work, April found herself drifting off back to sleep again. It wasn’t like there was many opportunities for an excess of work between their two jobs and a ten-year-old boy. He was adjusting well to his school and was making friends, which was good. Some aspects of his education he was behind in for a kid his age, but they were doing everything that they could to catch him up. Jackson had hired a tutor, even though April preferred to do most of it herself.

It’s nearly noon by the time hazel eyes flutter open again, limbs slowly stretching out and feeling the upper portion of her spine give a satisfying pop. Her stomach is somewhat settled from before, even if her limbs still ached with protest with every moment. There’s a glass of water on the nightstand that she doesn’t hesitate to drain as soon as she remembered its existence.

She gets up and takes a long shower, using the steam as if it was going to be some kind of cure-all. Even if she doesn’t feel significantly better by the time that she’s gotten out and the bathroom mirrors are coated in steam, feeling cleaner is a step in the right direction.

But inevitably, April doesn’t do a very good job of keeping her promise to Jackson. After she’s slipped into a comfortable pair of leggings and one of his t-shirts, she commits to cleaning the bathroom to make sure there’s no leftover smell or germs from the torture that she’d gone through this morning. At least she doesn’t get up and give the same treatment to the kitchen. Once everything’s cleaned to her expectations, she puts a little powder on her face in an attempt to look slightly more alive and braided her hair so she doesn’t have to worry about the frizz that comes from letting it air dry.

Even though she had managed to convince her stomach that it was nothing more than a bug and she’d be fine, April was no idiot. She knew the telltale signs of her body. Maybe Jackson did too, but in a completely different way than what was going on. He’d gone down on her last night and normally wanted nothing more than a handful of breasts in the process, but her own had been so sensitive that she hadn’t been able to take it in the heat of the moment. That soreness was one that she hadn’t experienced in a long time, but it wasn’t like she’d forgotten. The nausea that she’d dealt with this morning, and on a few other occasions in the past two weeks, was just the icing on the cake. Today was just the first time that he’d caught her dealing with it, which meant that she knew she needed to move forward.

As much as she had always wanted children of her own, being pregnant now terrified her.

That was just a consequence of the shooting that the two of them had survived, and the miscarriage that she had spent months dealing with on her own. Even though she’d eventually come clean with him about it, the brunt of the grief had been on her to deal with. Mixed in with a post-shooting, recovering Jackson, none of it had been easy. Tears had been shed on her own time, for both husband and child. Owen and Cristina may have known what she’d been through, but she couldn’t talk about it with him.

The only person that she would have been comfortable talking about it was Jackson, but he hadn’t had to grieve in the same way that she had. It’d been a thing of the past, a burden of his wife’s, not his own. If he had known about it before, then it would have been different. But she couldn’t bring herself to pour out her soul in the same way. April can’t blame him for it, she had made the choice not to tell him yet, to try and come up with something cute and clever. There had merely been consequences of that, something that she would have never expected.

Lurking around the house won’t help her, though, and she knows it. It’s a quick trip to the Walgreens closest to their house, picking up a pack of two pregnancy tests – just to be sure. There was no such thing as being too sure, as far as she was concerned.

Two big glasses of water later, she’s careful as she peed on the both of them at the same time. Going through one after another was too stress inducing for her to handle, and she wanted the results as soon as possible, with confirmation. Realistically, she should have just gone up to the hospital and had her blood work done, perhaps see an OB/GYN. Even though she’s not an expert on pregnancy, she remembered that this early on, there may not be a heartbeat found on the monitor even if the pregnancy was viable. She knows herself, and she knew exactly how she would react to something like that. Eight weeks and they could go. If the sticks turned positive in the first place. As if there was a chance that they wouldn’t.

“One one thousand, two one thousand, three one thousand…” April forced herself to count outlaid to try and maintain some semblance of patience. She’d peed and washed her hands, both sticks resting on a paper towel as she paced the length of the master bathroom. Aching to look, she continued the count. Five minutes. That kind of time could fly in surgery, yet felt impossibly long now.

Finally reaching three hundred, a deep breath is taken before picking up the two sticks, one on top of the other, and seeing the identical results. Two clear, blue stripes. She was pregnant.

“Oh my god…” the words are breathed out quietly, emotions rolling over her like a tow truck. Panic keeps her from breathing for a moment and then excitement has a scream clawing its way out of her throat, emerging instead as a squeak from the convolution of emotions confusing her. She placed the tests back down on the counter for a moment, palms pressing together tightly. After a long moment, a smile finally cracked across her features.

Being parents to Kamal was something that the both of them loved more than anything. He had come into their lives under strange circumstances perhaps, compared to most adoptions, and yet nothing had been as fulfilling as giving this boy the world that he deserved. Jackson’s idea, impulse… it was the best thing that had ever happened to them collectively. And he really seemed to be thriving under the new environment despite the massive changes that it had brought. After three surgeries, his hands were looking amazing, too. Physical therapy meant that he was getting better with them every week. Seeing him succeed brought the two of them so much joy that they couldn’t even describe it properly, not when they gushed about him to each other, coworkers, or other parents. Everyone was impressed with what they had done, but no one was prouder of Jackson for his choice than April was.

And they could have the chance to do that all over again, from the start. A little curly-haired, green-eyed, boy or girl of their own. There are so many fears and dangers that can come with pregnancy, but there’s nothing that can outweigh the excitement of that kind of possibility.

Thank God for Walmart, she thought, when she finally heard Kamal and Jackson arrive home for the evening. She’s not sure where else she would have managed to get a big brother shirt on such last minute notice, but she knew that she wasn’t going to be able to hide the secret from either of her boys for very long. Even if she was only six weeks along, and it was something that she should have thought a little more about before revealing it to their child, she can’t contain her own excitement. They’d always wanted this, the both of them. She can’t hide it from him.

“Hey, boys,” April greeted as she got up from her position on the couch. Two gifts were resting on the coffee table in front of her, the smaller box for her husband containing the two positive pregnancy tests, and a bag for Kamal with his big brother t-shirt. “Slow your roll, why don’t you? I got the two of you both something.” She said as she motioned to the gifts on the table.

“Really? For me?” Kamal questioned with a bright smile on his features.

“Mmhm!” She chirped as she handed him the bag, stepping toward her husband and giving him his own box. “I want you both to open them at the same time, alright? They’re matching gifts.”

There’s a whimsically amused expression on Jackson’s face as he took the box from his wife, surprised to see she’d turned around so well from the previous morning. “Gimme just a second, buddy,” he commented as he set down his bag, shrugging his jacket off and draping it over the back of the couch.

Time seemed to pass impossibly slow as April waited for the two of them to get settled down on the couch, her remaining on her feet so that she could watch the both of them as they realized what was going on. Then they finally dig into getting out their individual items, a large smile is already on her face. Jackson for a brief moment was stunned into silence, leaving their son instead to be the first one to comment on it.

“I’m going to be a big brother?” Kamal’s eyes were wide as he looked first to April, then to Jackson, then back to his adoptive mother. “You are pregnant?” He questioned for confirmation.

“Yeah, I’m pregnant.”

And the words felt amazingly good to say out loud in the present tense. It’s only a moment before Jackson was on his feet, kissing her hard on the mouth and picking her up to swing her around with excitement. Kamal meant everything to him, but to be able to double that love and joy in his life? He couldn’t even begin to imagine how happy it would make the both of them. April laughed and squealed as he held her against him, but the smile that glowed across her expression was absolutely infectious. And to think that it would only increase with the months to come.

“Baby, why don’t you go get started on homework while Jackson and I work on dinner?” April suggested, gaze focused on her husband for a moment as she gave him a little wiggle of her eyebrows. Glancing over at him, he’d already slipped the shirt on over the one he had been wearing throughout the day, and she couldn’t help but smile.

“You can’t call me baby anymore. Now that you’re having a baby.” Kamal replied with a smile.

“Sure thing, big boy,” she retorted with a wink.

When the couple finally has a moment to themselves again, Jackson can’t resist the temptation to kiss her again hard, lips and tongue coordinated in their movements. His hands had previously rested on her hips for the sake of keeping things appropriate, but this time he lets them slide down to the curve of her ass and pulled her in even tighter against him. Motherhood was something that was sexy on her, and the temptation to just take her then and there was certainly a heavy one. But he’d stick to keeping things at a PG-13 rating for now, and leave the fun stuff for tonight.

“Do you know how far along you are?” Jackson inquired when the kiss between them finally breaks. But even after the question has escaped him, his lips had moved to the edge of her jaw to plant a series of kisses along the pale skin there.

“Six weeks. I figure we can wait another week before we go and have the ultrasound, but I wanted to tell you today. I couldn’t hide it from you any longer.” April answered.

“I’m not going to lie, you really got me with the stomach bug thing this morning,” he admitted with an airy chuckle against her skin. A gentle suck on her earlobe is given, smirking to himself at the whiny noise that escaped from her.

“I know you’re happy about the bigger boobs, mister, but if you keep doing that, I’m going to be humping you like a dog in heat.”

The comparison is just enough to distract Jackson by letting out a real laughter, pulling back with a shake of his head and allowing his hands to resume their place on her hips. He still keeps her pulled in close to her, though, not wanting too much distance between them. Not when he was still flying high off of the news that they were going to be parents again, and this time, it’d be a baby of their own. “Now, would that really be such a bad thing?” He teased her.

April gave him a playful slap of the chest at the words, her eyes rolling even though hints of a smile remained clear across pink glossed lips. "You have to be nice to me now. I'm having your baby." She reminded him, grinning through every word that left her mouth.

"Mmhm," he agreed as he reached for her hands, hips beginning to move in a small dance of her own and getting her to join in almost instantly. "We're having a baby," he repeated in a sing-song voice, his green eyes alight with nothing but absolute joy.

"We're having a baby," she echoed in soft song.

There's a joy to be found in such a simple moment between the two of them, and they take full advantage of it, dancing and twirling around the living room like they were the only two people in the world, the first to go through something so wonderful and miraculous. Maybe pregnancy was something normal and easy for most couples, but this was something that neither of them could look over the joy of, or treat like it was something routine. Happiness buzzed between them, ebullient electricity crackling through the air of the house for the entire night.

When they do fall into bed that night, it's as if they're trying for another one already, so rhythmically in love with each other and unable to keep their hands to themselves.


	10. Perfect Storm

“The baby is fine, right? The baby has to be fine.”

For perhaps the first time during their pregnancy, the worries that April had been finally validated and not cast off of her being high-strung. She’d taken a spill when she was hurrying down the stairs, not having the time to wait on a crowded elevator, and tumbled down nearly half a flight of stairs. She was nearly ready to pop and there’d been no way to properly protect her stomach, not even an attempt at it. Luck had it that one of the residents had been coming up the flight only moments later and helped to get her back on her feet, a page to Jackson, who helped her rush to see their OB/GYN as soon as she was available.

“Everything checks out just fine, April,” Connie attempted to assure the redhead, looking away from the monitor to offer husband and wife a smile. “Baby’s moving around, heartbeat is just fine, doesn’t look like you took a fall at all from here. If there’s any pain, let me know, but otherwise… you should be good to go until those labor pains kick in.”

Jackson took one of April’s hands, giving the much smaller one a squeeze. “See? Nothing to worry about.” He bent down, lips brushing against her forehead gently. “You two are just fine.”

“And you’re completely sure about that?” She questioned one more time, needing confirmation.

“Absolutely sure,” the OB/GYN said as she stood up from her stool. “Just let me know if any pain pops up, but other than that, the next time I should see you is when you’re actually in labor.” She confirmed with a smile. “I’ll leave you two be,” she offered up as she exited the room.

April wet her lips, chapped flesh rubbing together before looking up at her husband and giving a weak attempt at squeezing his hand back. “I’m glad that nothing bad happened,” she breathed out quietly. “That terrified me. Even feeling the little one moving in here – that… that really terrified me.” Pouting bottom lip barely shook with the confession leaving her, as if anything that she was saying hadn’t already been obvious to her husband from the panic that she had been in when he first got to her.

“It’s okay,” Jackson couldn’t deny the fear that he’d felt – they’d come so far in this pregnancy without any real hitches or bumps, and even if this was a bruise, there had been moments where it felt like a lot more. “You’re both just fine, okay? My girl and my boy are just fine.” He reassured her, hand moving to the swell of her stomach and gently rubbing it, careful of the bruises that were forming across her normally porcelain skin.

“It could still be a girl,” April countered, eyes shutting for a moment and attempting to pull her emotions back under control once again. Keeping it a surprise had been a plan, but moments like this made her more desperate for knowledge than before, even if something like the gender wasn’t something that would make a dent on her current anxiety. 

“Nah,” he brushed off, taking the distraction as something she needed. “Definitely a boy in there. Me and Kamal have both placed bets on it.” He smiled down at her.

“You’re both terrible,” she commented with a shake of her head. “Help me up. I hope it’s a girl just so you’re both wrong.” Even if her dream had always been two boys and a girl, it didn’t really matter whether the little baby came out as a girl or boy. Either contributed. A boy would’ve been nice, two older brothers to protect their future baby sister. Only she could already be planning ahead for their next child together when she was so ridiculously pregnant with their second.

It’s easier to go about the rest of her workday with the knowledge that the baby inside of her was fine, even if Owen insisted that she take it easy. Most of the time she refused to let him treat her like she was some little old woman just because she was heavily pregnant, but today, it was easy to make an exception. Even if the worst of it was over, she was still a little shaken up by the fall that she had taken. Getting worked up by anything felt like a bad idea when her foundation was already shaken up and working at repair.

Two days later, the first contraction that hits her is denied.

Even if she was thirty-eight weeks pregnant, anything short of the due date itself felt like it was too soon. She’d had her fair share of Braxton Hicks in the past couple of weeks and passing it off as another one of those didn’t feel like much of a big deal. Just another day of being in the third trimester. She could keep telling herself that till the cows came home.

But not everyone around her was willing to buy it quite as easily. Brushing it off worked for the most part, until there’s the distinct sound of liquid splattering on the floor and a sudden wetness in her sneakers and scrub pants that she can’t pretend isn’t there.

“April, you’re definitely in labor – come on, your water just broke.” Owen insisted, a hand going to her shoulder to try and guide her into a wheelchair much to her refusal. “You’ve been having contractions all day. I’ll page Jackson for you.” He turned away for only a moment. “Edwards! Take Kepner up to maternity, make sure that Avery gets there before you leave her alone.”

All she can do about being taken care of is grumble. Today felt like the worst possible day for it. So much preparation had been done for the impending storm, and it’d be easy to see in the drive into work this morning with the heavy, looking clouds that had only barely begun to litter the streets of Seattle with a fresh set of rain. It’d gotten progressively worse through the day though she hadn’t been outside much to know, mostly dealing with the intake from the emergency room and letting Hunt and the interns do the majority of the running around. Even if she didn’t want to be babied, she’d had to recognize some of her physical limits.

“I’m fine, Edwards, just go. Women have been giving birth for centuries. My mom did it in a barn once, I think,” her words are interrupted with a groan of another contraction rolling through her. “I don’t need you near my vagina. Go!” Her words are barely distorted with the pain that she’s in, huffing out when the lights above her flickered.

Great. Storm of the century, a busy hospital, and she was on her ass in labor. Typical.

Nurses come in to check on her and offer her ice chips, giving her a few different suggestions for moving around. She’d wanted to try and do this as naturally as her body was going to allow her to, denying the epidural and reminding the nurses to ignore her husband if he tried to get her one. That was typical Jackson, as far as she was concerned – he’d try and respect her wishes, but wouldn’t stand to see her in pain. This was one of those days that he was just going to have to suck it up and let her do this.

When her husband finally gets in, she’s ready to slap him upside the head for taking so long in the first place. It hadn’t taken long for her stubborn refusal of being in labor to turn her into a grumpy and laboring mess.

“I’m so sorry, baby, I was surgery and couldn’t get someone to cover for me right away – but I’m here now. How are you feeling?” Jackson rushed to her side, taking one hand inside of his own, his other drifting to her stomach. He’d been a bit obsessed with touching and holding her belly since she’d really begun to show in this pregnancy, protectiveness extending in the only physical manifestation that her state really allowed for.

“The lights are flickering. And I’m in labor. I feel like I’m in some stupid horror movie and I’m in freakin’ labor and––“ Before any other complaints about the situation could come out, an agonized moan erupted from her lips and she clamped down on the hand holding one of hers. Though she was certainly small and didn’t seem like there was a lot of strength behind her on a physical basis, the sudden pain that shoots through the plastic surgeon’s arm is more than enough evidence for the assumption to be proven incorrect.

Jackson’s hand came up, pushing auburn waves of hair away from her face. “Do I have to wait for you to bring up the barn story, or can I?” The slightest tease in his voice, an attempt at lightening the mood. “You don’t need lights.”

“Yes, but I would like to have lights. I’m doing this at the hospital and not a tub at home for a reason,” April grunted out, her breathing labored. The time between the contractions was becoming increasingly shorter with the time that ticked on.

“Come on, sit up. Let me get your hair up, I’ll sit behind you and hold you.”

The suggestion is easy enough to go along with, April adjusting to make room for Jackson on the bed with her. He pulls her hair up in a mostly neat bun, trying to make sure that no loose strands were sticking to her face, but there are a few bumps. He did everything that he could to try and make his easier for her, rubbing her shoulders and back, whispers of encouragement leaving his lips almost constantly, and letting her howl and squeeze his hand as much as she needed to get through each set of contractions that hit her. He kept a careful time on the clock, monitoring the length for himself. One of the nurses had warned him that their OB/GYN had a lot going on today, and he knew how to do this. Even if it would have been preferable to have a doctor who actually specialized in this deliver the baby.

Naturally, he’s relieved when Dr. Ryan does finally make an appearance in the room. He gets himself out of the way so that she can check and see how dilated April was at the moment, watching her carefully and noticing the slightest shift in expression that she makes with her hand up and doing its business. There’s no need to question it when she makes the announcement on her own.

“Okay, April, I know that you’re ready to push, but you can’t. Your little one’s in face presentation, so we’re going to need to get you up and into the O.R. for a c-section, okay?”

“What? No, no. I don’t want surgery, I want to push.” She refused thoughtlessly. “I had a plan.”

“Remember what we said about plans, honey?” Jackson chimed in to remind her, gaze shifting from doctor to wife for a moment. “A guideline, but it might not follow through, okay? A c-section is no big deal. You can do this.”

“A c-section is a major surgery.” April quipped without missing a beat, looking between her doctor and her husband with wild eyes for a moment. “Can’t you just reposition the baby?”

Dr. Ryan assures them a vaginal delivery is not an option as it may be fatal, and tells them the C-section won't endanger either of them. It’s the last thing that April wanted to hear in the moment, chewing harshly at her lower lip and fighting through another set of contractions. Midst them, the lights go off. All of them wait for a few long moments, expecting the backup generator to kick on, and it doesn’t. Jackson rubbed her shoulder gently, but his mind was already made up. It was just a matter of getting her on the same page. Fortunately, knowing that it would put the baby’s life at risk just as much as her own, it doesn’t take much to get on the same page.

"We're having a C-section in the dark," April announced with a sigh. Transitioning her from the delivery room up to the operating room. “I hate this,” she whispered to Jackson underneath her breath, hazel eyes looking up at with worry.

“You have no reason to be worried,” Jackson offered. “Right, Dr. Ryan?”

As everything was getting set up, Heather comes in. She says she was asked by Owen to go to the ORs to tell the staff that Frank is trying to fix the emergency lights. Dr. Ryan asked her to stay, citing the need of another flashlight in order to make sure that everything went correctly. When it was one of their own on the table, it’s much harder for her to say no.

Not a thing is felt as April was cut open, holding her husband’s hand, trying to keep the conversation on baby names given the two of them still hadn’t decided in the months that they’d been discussing it. The two of them had become quite good at nitpicking with the other’s suggestions. But the conversation is cut short when she sees Dr. Ryan lift up a quiet baby boy, Jackson turning his head to look and April straining her head up to try and get a peek at precious curls. 

“Congratulations, April, Jackson. It’s a boy.” The father takes his newborn son into his arms for the first time, bending down to ensure that his wife could get a good look at him. A fond smile curled across both parent’s face for a moment, but it’s quickly ruined with anxiety coming over her.

“Why isn’t he crying?” She asked, flickering from the newborn to the doctor. Dr. Ryan assured her that it's not uncommon and that the baby will be brought to the NICU to make sure everything is okay. The thought only provided the absolute minimum level of comfort, wanting to know now that everything was fine, not wanting to have the wait of tests and exams.

“Stay with him, Jackson. Don’t leave his side.” April instructed him firmly. Jackson doesn’t put up much resistance to the demand.

Falling quiet and thoughts ruminating dangerously about the condition of her baby, she did her best attempt to relax as Dr. Ryan stepped over to stitch back up her exposed uterus and stomach. Midst it, Shane came to get Dr. Ryan, citing that another patient needed her. There’s a brief flash of panic in April’s eyes at the thought. Dr. Ryan instructed Shane and Heather to stitch her back up, and she tried to relax. It’s just closing, and it’s a simple enough procedure. There’s no reason for her to worry about it, no reason within the world of ration.

While the two of them work, the small talk between them suddenly falls quiet. Both residents noticed an abnormal amount of blood inside of her abdomen. The conversation is enough to perk up the trauma surgeon even though there’s not a lot that she can see with the curtain diving it, turning and twisting her head. But what she can see is blood coming through her IV, and all of it clicks at once.

Internal bleeding. The fall that she had taken two days ago.

Heather ran off to get help, and her heart rate just barely picked up on the monitor with the panic that was coming through her.

“Shane, listen to me. I want you to open me back up and find the bleed. It’s simple. You have enough light. You can do this on your own. I trust you.” April could only hope that the trust had been properly earned. She’d always liked him, he seemed like a good intern, but this was putting her life in his hands. No exaggeration, no hyperbole. Her actual life. And that was a lot for her to be doing with anyone.

Searching through her abdomen, much to both of their benefits, it doesn’t take long for Shane to realize the source of her bleeding. “It’s your spleen,” he announced, taking pause and a deep breath.

“Okay. Okay. I don’t know how long it’s going to take Heather to get back with someone, so… I’m going to walk you through how to do this, okay? I could do this with one hand tied behind my back. So I can walk you through this.” In part, she’s trying to reassure herself. But step by step, she tried to walk him through it, even as she could feel a sheet of exhaustion beginning to wash over her with the blood loss. All she can do is tell him the final steps, and ask him to not stop trying. She doesn’t want to leave any of her boys – not Jackson, not Kamal, and certainly not their newest and youngest.

Searching through recovery to try and find April despite his wife’s words, he’s disappointed not to find her. Jackson returned back upstairs to the NICU with an uneasy feeling eating him up inside, feeling himself calm back down as he picked up his son and cradled him against his chest. So long they’d waited for this, and now it finally felt perfect. He just couldn’t wait for April to get out of surgery so they could name the precious little boy.

When Heather appears in the window of the NICU looking as if she’s done something wrong, reality hits him like a freight train, realizing that today wasn’t going to play out nearly as well as any of them had planned on. The last slow motion he can manage is putting down his newborn son in the crib before he’s running down the hallways and back to the O.R. where he had last seen his wife, leaving the resident lagging behind him.

Jackson stopped himself outside of the operating room, for a moment, terrified to enter. His foot tapped inside of his shoe and the pause is just enough for Heather to be able to catch back up with him.

“Hey, April’s survived a ton, hasn’t she? I mean, she’s like a legend. Everyone's heard about the bomb thing! And the shooting. But she’s still here, and she’s like, the happiest attending I know,” Heather rambled on, trying to offer him something to calm him down, not sure if there’s anything that she can do or say that will actually help in the heat of the moment. "She's going to die when she's, like, 90. Old and warm in her bed. She's not going to die today. Maybe she’ll never die, who knows?”

Her quirkiness is appreciated for just a moment, but it doesn’t entirely calm him, either. “I hope you’re right.”

Bailey finally exited the O.R. before Jackson could bring himself to enter, informing him that April had a massive splenic bleed. She said that she removed it, but before she could get any further with the details of what had happened, tears take over her with a breakdown. 

Jackson rushed into the O.R. with wide, panicked eyes, finding Shane standing over here.

“What? She’s–“ He couldn’t even begin to get out the terrifying words.

“She’s fine, Dr. Avery. She’s okay. Bailey decided to keep her in here instead of taking her down to recovery with the power outage, but she’s fine.” Shane announced, dark eyes looking at one of his many bosses with worry.

A large sigh of relief escaped him, hand resting on his heart. Bailey followed into the O.R. again a few moments later, apologizing for crying and scaring them. Jackson couldn’t find it inside of himself to be upset with her for what he’s done, instead, turning on his heel and enveloping the much smaller woman with a large hug, sobbing into her for a moment. She was fine. April was fine. He wasn’t going to have to lose his wife today. That was enough.

Hours later, April was conscious again and doting over the newborn boy in her arms, exhausted and happiness mixed into her features. Jackson was more than happy to sit by her side, one hand resting on her thigh. Kamal was in the room, nearly bouncing in his seat and throwing back and forth his own ideas for names for the little boy, thrilled to be having a little brother of his own.

Maybe today had been one of the scariest days of Jackson’s life, much more terrifying than when he had had his own near-death experience, but somehow, it was one of the happiest, two. He had his wife, and now he had his two sons. He didn’t believe in God, but for a brief moment, it seemed like he had come into play and been there for his wife. Skepticism had always been there, but he can’t deny that today felt like a miracle with obstacle upon obstacle that had come between them.

"I know what I want to name him," April announced, looking up at her husband.

"Yeah?" He questioned, both boys perking up.

"Yeah. Bailey Samuel Avery," she smiled. "We can decide what we call him later."

A smile beamed across Jackson's feature, hints of emotion sparkling behind his green eyes. "I love it."


	11. How to Save A Life, Pt. 1

“Your mom hasn’t stopped calling, baby,” April commented in the middle of dealing with a fussy baby.

Throughout the course of her marriage, she had always been fond of her mother-in-law. Although she and Catherine Avery didn’t always exist on the same page, and the matriarch could be a force of nature to deal with when they weren’t, there was a fondness and respect underlying that pursued through the worst of it. Lately, she hadn’t gotten the full explanation of what the phone call tag between her and Jackson was, and she couldn’t figure out if they were intentionally leaving her out of the loop or not.

“I know, I know,” Jackson brushed it off quickly as he finished packing up Kamal’s lunchbox for school. “Kam!” He called out loudly, their son’s newest acquired nickname that his friends had apparently begun calling him and he now insisted they do, too. “C’mon, buddy, you’re going to be late for school,” he scolded gently.

Loud footsteps of their oldest flying down the stairs of their house are heard predictably only moments later, Kamal breathless when he appeared in the kitchen. April had finally agreed to start letting him rid the bus to school with his friends, and admittedly, it was one less thing for the two of them to have to actually do in the morning. The both of them could use the break from swamped nature of everything else that they had to deal with. He’s sent out the front door minutes later with hugs and kisses, as well as the daily reminder to be careful and safe.

“What are all the calls about, anyway? No one’s told me a thing,” she commented. Her tone of voice was calm enough, not wanting to pick a fight even if she didn’t like being left out on the outskirts of anything. Gaze remained on Samuel, cleaning up the mess he’d made of his face.

“It’s about the foundation,” Jackson answered with a shrug of his shoulders, clearly trying to brush it off.

“Oh yeah? What about it?” Fortunately for her, it’s easy to play the role of the curious wife, whether it was purely benevolent or not.

“The uh, the future of it, I guess,” he replied, scratching the back of his head.

Her eyebrows arched curiously at her husband for a moment, gaze finally leaving their younger son so that she could look over at him. “Are you going to give me any kind of details, or just leave me hearing guessing? Not like my babies are, y’know, a part of it,” April reminded him lightly.

“Let’s talk about it in the car,” Jackson suggested lightly. “C’mere, little man.” He said as he scooped Samuel up from his high chair, extending him up high in the air for a moment before settling his down on his hip. “Off to the car we go.”

Getting in the car is a quick and easy process these days, one of Samuel’s favorite places to be was riding in the car and he no longer put up a fight when it came to getting him inside of his car seat. Between that and Kamal on the bus, well, it made the morning process about a hundred times easier for the two of them to deal with. Although two kids were certainly handful from time to time, the family of four had begun to find the rhythm that really worked best for them. Jackson behind the wheel, April flipped on the radio for some background noise. But it remained on a quiet volume, not wanting to give an excuse for their conversation to not take place.

“So, what're the big happenings with the foundation?” April inquired once they were out of the neighborhood, head turned toward him.

“Well, now that my grandfather’s getting older, she wants to me to start taking a bigger role in the foundation. She uh, brought up moving to Boston,” he threw in quickly, clearing his throat. “But I shot that done. She does want me to go out, spend a little more time there, make sure I know how everything’s running. She doesn’t think that I’ve been doing enough and, well, I can’t really disagree with that.” Jackson explained clearly, keeping his gaze on the road as he drove.

April pondered the words for a moment, glossed lips pressing into a thin line as her gaze trailed between her husband’s stoic expression and the moving scenery around them. It felt like there was still something there that he wasn’t telling her, but didn’t want to question it too deeply. Trust was supposed to be a vital element in any marriage, and they were no exception to that.

“So she wants you to spend a few weekends there, or what? You know that’s not a big deal. Kamal’s good help.” She commented.

“I think that it would be more than just weekends,” Jackson clarified, pursuing his lips for a moment. “She wants me there for a few weeks, actually. Get some real work done while I’m there.”

“Well, I guess that’s something to think about…” April murmured as her gaze shifted back to the road in front of her, letting it process. A weekend or two wouldn’t be a big deal, really. That would have been easy to handle, maybe grab an extra hand from Owen or Arizona if she really needed it, but totally doable. But weeks? That was just long enough of a stretch that the thought of it settled uneasily in her stomach. She loved her boys and her work, but she knew that dealing with the two of them on her own for an extended period of time would be a load. Especially when piling on the idea of missing Jackson.

Small talk filled the rest of their car ride to the hospital, Jackson taking Samuel down to daycare so they could get started with the rest of the day. The conversation could only be put off for so long, realistically. Catherine traveled back and forth between Boston and Seattle frequently, and she was due in town in a few days. The conversation wouldn’t be one that they are able to avoid in person.

“Yeah, we’ll think about it,” Jackson offered, glancing over to give her a small smile and placing his hand on her knee, giving it a little shake and squeeze. He didn’t want her to worry about it, even if it was something that he was stressed thinking on.

By the time the two get to the hospital, April ran Samuel down to the daycare and the two of them went about their separate days. But even separated by their distinct specialties, the two of them were thinking about the exact same thing for much of the day. April didn’t particularly want him to have to go off doing foundation business but wasn’t sure that it was her place to tell him that when she didn’t have to personally deal with the burden of the Avery last name. But both their children would have to deal with it one day, surely. Jackson wasn’t much more of a fan of it to start, but he felt like there was an obligation to do it. Someone would have to pass it on eventually. Catherine could handle it regardless of whether or not Harper was around, but realistically she wouldn’t be around forever.

The next few days pass without bringing up the subject anymore, but it was inevitable that it would come out when Catherine came into town. Most of her time was spent with Richard, but a dinner with the five of them and it’s brought up once more. As much as April wanted to dive into it and get her opinion heard, there’s not much either of them was willing to say. No one wanted to fight with grandma in front of the kids.

But that didn’t mean that the two of them wouldn’t discuss it in their own time, kids asleep and Catherine gone.

“I think that it’s something I need to go,” Jackson confessed with a small sigh.

“Do you really think that’s a good idea? I mean, it’d be weeks, Jackson. Don’t you think that you’re missing out on a lot?” April’s words are intended to be guilt-tripping, but there’s a small underlying piece of it still tangled into the questions leaving her lips anyways. She pulled back the covers of their bed, plopping down on the bed and wrapping her arms around one of the fluffy throw pillows.

“I’m not sure,” he ran his hand over his face, too restless to sit down for a moment. “I mean, I gotta acquaint myself with this stuff – it’s not the same foundation that it was when I was a teenager. And I want to be able to pass this onto Kamal and Samuel, you know? It’s going to be something that they need to do. I mean, Kamal’s only a few years away from when he’s going to be attending board meetings. I want to be on top of it for when he starts up that stuff.” He explained his thought process, frowning as he looked down at his wife.

A frown deepened across April’s expression, giving a little wiggle of her hips as she slipped her legs beneath the soft sheets. “He doesn’t have to do that at fifteen, you know. It’s his choice. You did it then, sure, but… since you’re an only child, well, it’s technically not a tradition.” She pointed out, unsure if her words were going to have the effect that she intended.

“Good luck telling that to my mom,” he commented off-handedly.

“She doesn’t own you, baby. You’re not a kid anymore. You’re an adult, and these are your kids. We make the decisions. Not her.”

“That’s– that’s not the point,” Jackson disagreed as he got into bed next to her, long legs extending out but not crawling under the covers just yet. “Fifteen, eighteen, when he wants… it doesn’t matter. I mean, you know the kid. He’s going to want to do it.” That was one thing that the two of them both knew, inevitably. He was eager to be here, to do everything that he could and more. This was something that would come to him naturally once the opportunity was there.

“I know, I know. But still, this is a decision that you should make because you think it’s the right thing to do. Not just because your mom is telling you that you need to.”

Even though she did know Catherine rather well, there’s a difference between knowing her as her mother in law and actually having been raised by the woman. There are pressures of being an Avery that April would never have the same first-hand experience – she hadn’t even taken his last name, after all. Their boys may have bared it and would face the pressures one day, but she would always be a side character in the Avery foundation. She knew that Catherine hadn’t been brought into it by her birthright, but instead by marriage, but she didn’t see the same thing happening to her. She’d do what she could to support her husband and her boys, but she didn’t think that her role would ever be that involved.

“It’s my decision. Got it.” He tried not to be too dismissive of her words, his mother’s imprint still weighing heavily on his mind. Jackson rolled onto his side to curl up against her, an arm wrapping snuggly around April’s form and pulling her in close. Nose brushed against the back of damp, auburn waves of hair, smelling the fresh shampoo from the shower she’d taken before crawling into bed.

“I love you,” April reminded him softly as she gave a little shift to get comfortable, back pressed up against his warmth. “Whatever you choose, I’ll support you. I just want to make sure that you’re pulling the strings, not her.” She explained quietly, letting her eyes fall shut.

She has a much easier time falling asleep that night than he does, continuing to explore the possibility of what he should or shouldn’t do in his head. Jackson did eventually drift off into a dreamless sleep of his own, but the thoughts don’t disappear from his head in the days to come. The foundation had always been his least favorite part of being an Avery – he wanted to practice medicine, be his own man, not just another member of the family lineage. He didn’t want to ride on his last name, and he knew that had been all his family expected of him as a child. He wanted to be more than the expectations, he always had.

But eventually, it comes to the point where a decision had to be made. April was just waiting for him to let her know what he had made his mind up, not wanting to interrogate or push him with the choice, knowing that he needed to make it on his own. Even if the longer that she didn’t know, the more that she could feel it driving her up a wall.

“Hey, you got a minute?”

Jackson caught April off guard in the midst of looking over the last of her patient’s labs, trying to piece together whatever the right diagnosis was. She looked up from the tablet in her hands, blinking a few times before giving a quick nod of her head.

“Yeah, sure babe. What’s up?” She asked.

“I’ve made up my mind about the whole Boston thing,” he explained, his hand coming up to tuck loose hair back behind her ear. “This is something that I need to do, you know? I need to be involved. For our kids, for my future… it’s just better that I get this out of the way now, while the opportunity is there. It’s only a few weeks, you know, and I can fly back some of the weekends. It’s not like I’ll be completely gone,” Jackson continued to explain and justify his decision, light green eyes never leaving her face to watch for her reaction. “But I’m only going to do this if you’re absolutely sure that you’re going to be fine with both the boys for that long, you know. I don’t want to leave you drowning out here.”

“You really think those two rugrats are going to be a challenge for me?” April gave a quick retort with a raise of her eyebrows, not wanting him to think that she was upset with him for her decision. She didn’t like it necessarily, but she didn’t want to blame him for it, either.

A short chuckle left Jackson’s lips, shaking his head for only a moment before he dipped down to place a sweet kiss on her lips. He lingered with the contact for a moment, enjoying the taste of her chapstick and the soft feeling that was always there between them. He had to give her credit, she was showing a good attitude given she hadn’t seemed fond of the idea to begin with. 

“Nope, you’re a super mom,” he commented, lips brushing against hers once more. “You’ll be great on your own. I won’t be in your way.”

Her nose crinkled in response to his words and April gave a shake of her head. “Well, don’t give me all the credit. Just most of it.”

Jackson snorted, his arms falling into place to wrap around her waist and pull her against his front. “So you’re really good with this?” He asked.

“Yeah. It’s your decision,” April nodded, looking up at him with a soft smile lining her lips. “I’ll miss you. And the boys will too. But if it’s just a few weeks… you know, we’ll be fine. We’ll figure it out in our own way and it’ll all work.” Even if the details were still left up in the air for a moment, something that was surely temporary with how obsessive she could be about things from time to time, she was sure that it could be figured out. Planning was something that she’d always been good at, and this just gave her an excuse to make sure that it would all go as seamlessly as possible.

So that’s what she took to do in the following days and weeks.

Mapping out everything that they were doing, in part trying to keep Kamal on the busy side with the hopes that it’d make it easier to deal with missing his father. She knew that the two were close – probably closer than she was with the boy, really. The bond that had formed between the two of them was instantaneous and she loved that, it was a beautiful and amazing thing to watch. So she wanted to make this easy for him, more worried about how he would handle it than she herself would. April could be quite obsessive about his wellbeing.

Yet the morning that she has to take him to the airport, she's still stressed. Arizona came over to watch the boys for a little while, and it's one less thing for her to have to worry about. April let Jackson take his time with saying goodbye to both of their sons, not wanting to rush it and have already scheduled plenty of extra time to get the airport just in case of traffic or anything else that might have come up. He knew that and made use of the extra time.

There's no avoiding it, though, and eventually, the goodbyes are completely and the two of them are climbing into the car, pulling out of the driveway and the neighbor. Jackson was driving, yet one hand was off of the steering wheel and instead, holding his wife's. 

"Thank you for being such a good sport about all of this, babe," he commented and gave her hand a little squeeze.

"I'm your wife. It's what I'm supposed to do." April glanced over at him with a smile. "But I'm still going to miss the hell out of you, baby."

Jackson gave a slight good-natured chuckle, though the feeling was entirely mutual. He was already beginning to miss her and he hadn't even made it to the plane. "I know," he breathed out. "I'm going to miss you too, April. I wish that this wasn't something that I had to do, but..."

There's no explanation for it offered, a conversation that the two of them had already gone round and round about it. The decision had been made.

"But you're going to do it. It's what you need to do, I know." April finished for him. "Just make sure that you call me when you land, alright? I want to make sure that you get in alright. And every weekend, a Saturday Skype session, just like we planned. I'm sure that Kamal is going to be calling you more often than that, though, so try and take his calls, alright? I'll make sure that he doesn't call you too late at night, but he's going to miss you. He'll want to hear all about what you're doing and what it's like over there. He told me that he wished he could go with you, but he really likes what he's learning about in science class right now," April rambled on. It was easier to use him for the excuses of missing, after all, even if she'd miss him just as much.

Jackson's mouth opened to respond to her, but before much in the way of a sentence could get out, there's a loud crash and crunch as a truck comes from nowhere, plowing into the driver's side of the vehicle. The scream of metal filled the air, their vehicle not standing a chance against the force of the other, spinning and flipping into the air.

The car landed on its side, two occupants bloody and unconscious.


	12. How To Save A Life, Pt. 2

The smell of something burning is rancid. It’s impossible for April to identify what it is from her position but the tiny twitch of her nose is enough to set off the pain.

Once it started, the rest came rushing in. The throbbing inside of her head was loud and constant, primarily on the right side but radiating throughout her entire skull. She could feel something dripping against her cheek and it takes too long for her to register that it had to be nothing else but her own blood. Eyes flutter openly slowly and everything was upside down, deployed and deflated airbag in front of her. The angle that her limbs had fallen into from the combination of gravity and the force of the impact is uncomfortable at best, pressure from a stuck seatbelt keeping her there. Her body begged her to move and get out, but instead, momentary paralysis strikes her down.

“Jackson?” Two simple syllables are enough to break her voice.

Despite any better instincts as a doctor, April shifted and squirmed to try and get a better look at her husband, straining herself. He looked to be in the same convoluted position that she was in, chin forced down into his chest from the angle. But the main difference that she could see was those beautiful eyes that she loved so much were shut and there wasn’t any sign of movement that she could see from him. Her hand stretched out toward him, fingers barely able to brush against his arm with the distance between them.

“Baby, wake up. We were in a car crash.” Impossibly long moments pass between the two of them and she doesn’t get any response from him. She’s so focused on him that she nearly doesn’t hear the wailing of sirens in the background, panic being to add to the crushing seated heavily in the center of her chest.

The road that they were driving on hadn’t been completely empty to start but she doesn’t pick up on the chatter and people shouting. It’s a blessing that there were multiple people there to call for paramedics without any wait or hesitation, even if the crowd of people was standing back from the cars on the off chance of something catastrophic happening. One brave soul, an older man who was a former firefighter, doesn’t hesitate to approach the scene and try to at least get some kind of emotional handle on what was happening. At least someone was doing something.

“Are y’all awake down there?” The stranger’s voice called out. Moments later, a face appeared on Jackson’s side of the vehicle through the broken window, looking in. Only then does her echoic hearing kick in and allow her to process what had been said.

“Yes! My- my seatbelt’s stuck,” April cried out desperately. “Can you check if he has a pulse? Please! I can’t reach from here and he’s not responding.” She begged the stranger.

Pleading eyes watch as the older male reached his hand in through the broken glass and press against his neck, relieved that he knew what to do without being told. The seconds that pass as he felt for signs of life and said a word was impossibly long, ticking by agonizingly slow. She held her breath without realizing it.

“Yeah, he’s got a pulse, sweetheart. Probably just hit his head too hard. The paramedics are going to be here any minute to get you two out, you just got to sit tight for now, alright?” Tears slip from the sparkling brim of her eyelids as she gave a quick nod of her head. A pulse was something, a start. But there were still a hundred other things that could go wrong. She could have listed them off without hesitation, knew exactly where to start when someone in this same position was brought into her emergency room. And yet now she has to sit back and wait. There was no way for her to be able to do that calmly. April was a master of control and calamity when it came to doing things as a trauma surgeon, but there was something completely different about this hurting her so directly. A freak chance, or maybe not even that big of one. “You doing alright over there?” His voice cut through her thoughts, though he disappeared from her sight for a moment after speaking. 

“Yeah,” she whispered out, blinking a few times to try and force back the tears. Instead, the action had the opposite effect, salty liquid spilling past her lids to mix with the crimson that was already staining her pale features.

Much to her relief, the man appeared again, this time on her side of the mangled vehicle.

“Are the paramedics almost here?” She questioned, trying to shift to direct herself a little more toward him but unable to do so.

“Yeah, sweetheart. Try and stay still, alright? I’m gonna sit with you right here until they show up.” He reaffirmed her. “My name’s Ed. I used to be a firefighter, so I’ve seen a lot of things like this, alright? And let me tell you, this isn’t even close to the worse thing that I saw one the years. I promise you two are going to be just fine,” the now named man offered words of reassurance to her and a gentle smile.

Much to her relief, first responders did show up within minutes. Everything felt incredibly long, the trauma and anxiety swelling through her distorting her own perception of time. But she was lucky, in one perspective, at least. Ed stayed with her despite that he had no reason or obligation to do so, down on his hands and knees on the asphalt, making sure that she didn’t lose control of herself completely until proper help could arrive. That was more meaningful than what she would ever be able to express.

Because of the car being upside down, they can’t get removed from the vehicle nearly as quickly as she wanted to be. Braces are hard to get around them, Jackson’s more difficult than his own given the angle in which he had found himself in, but careful time is taken to ensure that. It was a basic element of what was necessary, not trying to cause any spinal cord damage.

But nothing prepared her for the screeching of metal when the doors are removed from their car, the sound screaming and echoing in her ears. She’s absolutely alone when it does finally happen and the tears are released from her eyes freely, hoping that this at least meant the rest was over, no matter what the chances of that being true actually were. Even if statistics were something that she normally obsessed over, needing the facts there to support and buttress her, this was one of those moments where she couldn’t have given less of a damn about what they had to say.

April screamed and begged to go in the same ambulance with Jackson, trying to insist that she was fine and didn’t need to be placed on a stretcher separately from him. She couldn’t keep up with how many times that she said that she was a trauma surgeon, that she could help. But it’s just the words of a terrified wife, not a woman who could make a difference.

They give her something to calm down in the ambulance ride over to the hospital, assessing her words. There are clear signs of a concussion from that way that her head had slammed into the window and brain bounced around inside of her skull as a result of it. Cuts from the broken glass, a few that would need stitches, but there were no signs of any major injuries. They’d need to run more tests at the hospital, but by all looks and appearances, she would be fine. As good of news as that was, it wasn’t something that she could focus on. The only thing that she could think about was Jackson.

Was he okay? Was he even awake?

She was an absolute nuisance to deal with in the emergency room, and part of her wished that it was Hunt there with her, but knew that he was better off with Jackson. He was the one that needs attention the most. She could live without one of her closest friends for a little while longer.

Meredith still isn’t her favorite person, but she’s a good doctor. There’s enough trust there to make sure that she’d catch anything abnormal, anything that needed surgery. 

But the moment that the other attending is gone and it’s one of the interns who was left with her, all bets were off. April was hauling herself off of the hospital bed, fixing the gown that she had been forced into so her rear wasn’t out for the rest of the world to see. A pole with fluids is dragged off behind her and she doesn’t care what anyone else in the damn building had to say, she was going to get an update on Jackson. Waiting for someone to bring it to her was no longer an option for her level of impatience. 

Trauma rooms are checked first, and when she doesn’t find what she’s looking for, she took the elevator up and headed to CT. Nurses give her a funny look, but something about the determination on her face scares them out of trying to stop her.

It’s CT that she finally founds him, letting out a sigh of relief. He was there, he was still breathing. There’s a long pause where she waited outside of the room and out of sight of Hunt and Webber, but it doesn’t last for particularly long. Even if there’s a brief moment of peace in seeing that he was okay, that he hadn’t coded or worse, it’s not long enough lasting to keep her from bursting into the room and receiving crazy looks from both of the other doctors.

“What does it show?” April demanded to know.

“Kepner, you should really be getting some rest, we’ve got–“ Owen tried to insist.

“What does it show?” She repeated the question just as harshly as before, eyes widening with a harsh glare at the both of them. Hunt seemed more reactive to the wild eyes that she had to offer than what she would have expected.

“He’s got a hemothorax and spinal laceration. We’re going to take him up to the O.R., Yang should be here any minute to get a look at it. You don’t need to worry alright, we’ve got this. We’re going to take care of him.” Webber offered an answer, a sympathetic look crossing the older male’s features. “You need to get back into bed.” He added.

April stepped closer to the screens so that she could get a better look at the scans for herself. “Did you get a head CT?” She questioned. “I hit my head hard. He might have too.” She recommended.

There’s a tense pause where Webber and Hunt look at her as if she’s crazy, but the sigh that comes from her fellow surgeon indicated that this was one thing that they wouldn’t argue with her about, much to her relief. As worried as she was, the exhaustion, the soreness, all of what she had been through was beginning to set in. She wanted more than anything to lay down and enjoy some ibuprofen, but first, she needed to make sure that he was okay.

“Fine, we’ll get a head CT,” Hunt agreed with a nod of her head.

Before April could be relieved that he had agreed with her, nausea comes with a wave that she can’t fight off. There’s a trashcan beneath the desk that the two men are sitting at and she pushed past Hunt to grab it, emptying the contents into her stomach without hesitation. Hands pull her hair back out of her face, no doubt from the other redhead, another moving to her back and rubbing a soothing circle against it.

“Kepner, you need to get back to bed,” Webber insisted. She doesn’t put up much of a fight this time when he grabbed one of the residents from the hallway and had them escort her back to her room. It feels impossibly good to get off of her feet and lay down.

Eyes shut for what she thought would only be a long moment but the exhaustion washed over her enough that she falls into a fitness sleep. When her eyes eventually open hours later, she doesn’t feel any better, doesn’t feel more rested. Some of the medicine in her IV had kicked in much to her body’s relief, but her mind is in the exact same place as before. All she wanted was an update – but she knows that this time she can’t go running quite as directly into the operating room. A few long moments of nothing pass before a white coat is walking past.

“Arizona!”

It’s a quick shout, a demand for attention. She sat up fro her laying position, not getting out of bed but certainly the threat to do so there. Arizona could see that much. The fetal surgeon had needed to talk to her anyways, but hadn’t realized that she was up and awake.

“How’s Jackson doing?” She questioned.

The conversation that they had takes a surprising turn that April wasn’t ready for, tears in her eyes once more as she processed the information that she had been told. In the midst of all of the madness, she’s capable of processing it with more maturity than what she would have previously expected herself to do. For what felt like an impossibly long time, she processed the information, taking a few minutes by herself before she was ready to go and see him. 

Arizona walked with her up to post-op, their elbows hooked together so they went at the same pace, giving April a support to have a little physical support in addition to the comfort of the moment. She leaned on the blonde as they took the elevator, eyes shutting and breathing in the moment.

Brain surgery was a terrifying concept. When she had suggested the head CT it had been more out of a precautionary measure, not expecting that Shepherd would have to go in and perform a craniotomy. But she was lucky. They both were. Amelia had been there and available, not caught up in another surgery responding to the pager immediately. She had supposedly gotten to it before it could have gotten worse, and things post-op were looking good. He hadn’t woken up from the surgery just yet as far as Arizona knew, but she needed to see him now. She needed to sit with him, to hold his hand, to bother with him. Sitting alone in her room would only serve to drive her crazy instead of allowing feel any better about the situation.

His color is excellent, his heart rate strong. No signs of bradycardia.

Somehow, those are the first thoughts that go through her head when she reached the room. Assessing the situation, looking at his odds, wanting to make sure that they are good. The confirmation of her hopes was everything that she could have hoped for and more. It was exactly what she needed to see at the moment, and she breaks down in tears of relief. The only thing that would have been better was walking into him awake and talking.

The chair next to his bedside becomes her home for minutes, hours. Time loses its meaning. She doesn’t mind sitting there like a statue, both of her small hands wrapped around one of his larger ones, head resting on the edge of his bed with her forehead next to his thigh. It’s more comfortable than laying in a patient bed of her own because he’s there, he’s with her. That means more than anything physical to her. And eventually, there’s the tiny stirring of motion from her husband that she had been waiting all too eagerly to notice.

“Hi, baby, hi,” April greeted as she sat up slowly, eyes scanning his face. His eyes were open – looking at her, clearly. He would need a near assessment, but she was more than happy to do one of her own.

“April?” His voice is dry and rusty, but his words are clear. No damage to the FFA, to Broca’s area. She can remember some of the basics of neuroanatomy right off the top of her head and even though she knew that wasn’t everything, there were two major things that she wouldn’t have to worry about right off the top of her head. She could live with that.

Grabbing the cup and pitcher of water on the nightstand, she poured him a glance of water and carefully guided it to his lips, not wanting him to have to move too much. But one of his hands lifted up to hold the glass himself and there’s one more thing that she doesn’t need to worry about. There were so many things to be terrified after brain surgery and yet it seemed like a miracle that he had pulled through, no blown pupils, no obvious loss of function anywhere. She could feel tears welling in her eyes once more, but this time it’s not out of fear. He took a few swallows of water before gently pushing her hand away.

“What happened?” Jackson asked her.

“Do you remember anything?” She returned with a question of her own, brows furrowing deeply as she fumbled to send a page to Shepherd so she could come down here and check out things for herself.

“We… we are in a car crash, right?” He wet his lips as he spoke, looking at her for confirmation.

“Yeah, we were,” April confirmed with a nod of her head. She explained as best to her own abilities as she could what had happened even if she doesn’t know how the other vehicle had actually plowed into him, assuring him that her own injuries were mostly superficial besides the concussion, and what had gone on with him. Midst their conversation, some of the other doctors come in. Shepherd goes a near assessment, saying that everything checked out well but they would continue to monitor him to make sure. Webber and Yang came in to check on her husband’s condition as well, giving them details of the surgery and the fixes that they had followed through on. There was no one that she could have trusted more when it came to sheer talent and abilities with her husband’s ability, and she takes a long moment of prayer for gratitude of the other amazing surgeons that God had surrounded her with, that he had blessed her enough to get the both of them through this, with an additional surprise for the already ludicrous day.

But she waited until the two of them were finally alone at the end of the day to give Jackson the full report on her medical condition, wanting to make sure that they had some time for the two of them. She knew that Webber and Shepherd were both staying here overnight just in case anything happened, but she was already hopeful. They had caught everything in time, almost miraculously so. The entire day felt like a miracle even though the near-worst had happened. Their kids hadn’t been in the car, they were both alright. That was what was important.

Although April should have been in a hospital room of her own, an exception is made. Her ability to twist arms was nothing that should have been underestimated and today happened to be the day that she proved that to everyone that she worked with. She’s set up with an IV of her own for hydration, but it doesn’t feel like a big deal.

“I can tell that you want to go to sleep, baby,” she murmured empathetically, thumb stroking along the back of his hand gently. “It’s okay. I do too and you need the rest. I just want to tell you one thing first, and then you can sleep all you want, I promise.” 

“What’s up?”

“There’s one thing that Robbins told me today that I haven’t told you yet,” April took a deep breath. “I’m pregnant.”


	13. Epilogue

The day that their daughter finally greets them into the world, it’s a chaotic day. Not in the sense of the chaos that Jackson and April had both learned to know from the madness that they had faced time after time – no one’s near death, there’s no violence ringing throughout their workplace. Instead, it’s the most normal kind of chaos possible.

April was huge with this pregnancy, moving slower than ever. Kamal was doing everything that he could to try and help her out, the sweet boy that he was, but there was only so much that the thirteen-year-old could do when it came to dealing with Samuel. Their middle child was just shy of two and yet he had already hit the terrible stage that had come with it. He’d been up half the night for no other reason to drive them crazy, as far as the cranky parents were concerned, and he’d been a mess to try and get together in the morning. She’d lost count of how many times no had been yelled at the both of them. There were some mornings where it was painful to separate with their beloved little boy taking him to daycare, but this was definitely not one of them.

The E.R. was a predictable madhouse, and maybe it would have been easier to manage if she was moving at her normal speed. But she refused to take on less no matter what was going on inside of her body. She wouldn’t let this knock her on her rear.

But there was really only so much she could do when her water broke in the middle of her stitching someone up.

Water splashed against her feet and she could hear the sound, but it took her a moment to process that it was actually happening to her. Instead, her head whipped around, scanning the E.R. to look for a source of a noise like that. When her gaze returned to her patient to try and focus once more on the stitches that she was doing, instead, there’s a set of wide eyes staring at her like she’d just said something blasphemous.

“Oh. Oh!” April jumped back, figuring it out for herself. “Hunt!”

She knew that this was going to happen at some point or another and that the chances of it happening at work were high enough given how much time the both of them spent inside of this hospital. But she’d never predicted it happening in the middle of tending to a patient. She was lucky that she hadn’t actually been in an operating room and completely ruined the concept of a sterile field, yet something about this is even more embarrassing. Right in front of not only one patient, but a room full of patients and coworkers. But she’s almost positive that Hunt had just been waiting for this day to happen based on the calm approach that he had with her.

“Alright, off you go,” he smiled at her like he didn’t know that she was about to go through the agonizing trial of childbirth. An intern is waved over to take over for what she’d been doing, and he’s got her rear in a wheelchair before she can complain about him patronizing her. It’s a good thing he was quick on his feet.

Jackson met her in the maternity ward, and there was pure ecstasy written across his face. After the chaos that had been Samuel’s birth, the idea of her getting to have her own normal experience with it, of a child that they both loved and adored and already knew… that meant a lot to the both of them. They’d never gotten the chance to go through this entire process the right way, and even if this was the third child, it was a first for the both of them. He would get to hold her hand through it, and she was going to attempt to do a vaginal birth after c-section. The chances were good according to her OB, even if there’d be careful monitoring to make sure that everything went through well. And she had lectured him time and time again about not letting her take any pain medication unless she had to be cut open.

April’s grip on his hand was painful, but he dared not complain knowing he couldn't compete with her own discomfort. He was also left somewhat wordless at the obscenities that poured from his wife’s mouth with the waves of contractions that came and went, panted out in stinging run-on sentences.

Even with the minor pains in Jackson hand from the death like grip that his wife had managed to muster up against him, and swearing of words that he’d never heard her use in any context before, it goes as smoothly as anyone could hope a labor and delivery would actually go. There’s no decelerations, no sign of distress. No rupture of the scar on her uterus. It finally seemed as if the benefits had outweighed the risks.

A powerful scream precedes the actual entrance of the little girl into the world, bearing down with all of the force that she could manage. The cry that followed next was not from mother, but instead, from the freshly born child, a sign that all was well. 

“Here’s your little girl,” Arizona cooed the words as she passed off the mocha colored baby into the eager arms of her mother.

“Hi, baby.” The smile that stretched across April’s cheeks was huge as her eyes rested on her daughter, accepting her with loving arms and holding her on her chest. Despite every exhausted muscle in her body and the sweat dripping from her temples, there was nothing that could compare to actually having this moment, holding her baby right after birth. Not nearly dying on the table. Not having to worry about breath sounds. Pure euphoria, a rush of maternal hormones, all of it had cumulated to make this moment nothing short of absolute perfection for her.

Jackson watched the sweet moment between mother and child with love in his eyes, a huge smile of his own across his features. A hand soothed up and down April’s arm gently, but his other hand couldn’t help but touch a little cheek, watching her reflexively smile. It didn’t matter if the trained doctor inside of him knew that it was a reflex and a real, authentic smile wouldn’t come for months now. Dr. Avery had vacated and instead the father couldn’t help the swell of happiness that surged through his system, already completely in love with the little girl that his wife had brought into the world for the both of them to meet.

“Is this going to be our little Harriet?” He questioned, green eyes finally moving away from the tiny, tiny frame of his daughter and to his wife’s face to seek out her approval. Name discussions had been frequent, and they had both liked this one for a girl.

“Harriet Emily Avery.” April looked up at him as she answered, buoyant beauty lighting up tired features.

Their eyes lock together in a long moment with soft smiles on both of their faces before nodding in agreement at the name. Harriet, after Harriet Tubman. Something strong and meaningful, a powerful context behind it to carry her through life on more than just the last name that she bore. It had been a mutual suggestion. Emily had been one own – something a little more traditional, cuter, but with a solid meaning behind it nonetheless: industrious, striving. It felt like the perfect name for their little girl.

Both of them enjoy sitting there with their little girl for a while, rocking and singing to her, talking lovingly. They knew that they wouldn’t have a lot of moments with just the two of them, that was something that they had learned with Samuel quickly – though help than had been needed because she was recovering from a surgery of her own. But now, they want to take the time, just the two of them.

But eventually, the nurses come for Harriet to take her up for the standard tests and vaccinations. The latter of which they wanted to make sure absolutely everything was covered, something that they were both all too passionate about. It doesn’t take long, but April takes the chance to shut her eyes for even just a little while, wanting to rest while she could. Two kids had been a chaotic thing to adjust to, and she knew that three was going to be just another challenge. But this was what she had always wanted, two boys and a girl. It was the dream that she’d always had. Her precious little girl was going to have two big brothers looking out for her.

That’d be years down the line, though. For the next couple of years, they were still going to have two children under the age of five. That wasn’t easy for any parent to deal with.

When Harriet is returned to the loving arms of her parents, though, the onslaught of family and friends is practically scheduled. Hunt brings up Kamal to see the both of them and gets first dibs on meeting the newest addition to the Avery family – little did he know that once things calmed down, he would be asked about taking the position of godfather for the little girl. Everyone comes in a casual flow afterward, Nathan and Arizona, Alex and Meredith, Ben. Webber eventually comes as well and that’s when Catherine finally joins the two of them in the room, and she took absolutely no time whatsoever to get her hands on the chubby little infant and coo over her.

“She’s just perfect, April,” Catherine commented while bouncing her granddaughter. “I just knew this one was going to be a little girl. We both deserve it, you know. Boys are an absolute nightmare,” she said with a wink.

“Hey!” Kamal piped up in defense.

“Oh, honey, you know that you are my exception to that rule. Unlike your father. Hoo! The stories that I could tell you about your father if he’d let me. But you know Grandma Catherine always takes good care of you, sweetheart, don’t you worry.” Her charm with children was unrivaled, she’d always been a complete natural with them. April couldn’t help but smile as she listened to them go back and forth, trying to stay relaxed.

“I think that we can leave the stories out of it for now,” Jackson piped in.

Before much more could be said on the matter, April’s phone was buzzing. She reached for it without much reaction until she realized that it was her mother and father calling to FaceTime, not able to make it out until a few days later. She hushed the room quickly.

“Hi baby!”

“Where’s the little one?”

The phone gets passed over to Jackson and flipped around so that both her parents could see Catherine holding the little girl, rocking her gently. She lets them go back and forth without much interruption, absolutely exhausted. Sleep was calling her, and she knew that wasn’t going to happen with some of the others in the room, but no matter how exhausted she was… there was something absolutely beautiful about this moment. All of the people that she loved and cared about were here with her, celebrating, even if it was just over the phone. That was the kind of special moment that nothing could ever compare with.

Eventually, the phone gets passed over to her again, making a bit of chatter with her mother. The entire room gets to hear the story about when she was nothing more than a little baby and had a vomiting spell much to her disgrace, embarrassed halfway to death but not willing to cut them off at the same time.

“You’re going to have a handful, those two little boys and now you’ve finally got a little girl. You lucky duck! It’s what you always wanted, sweetheart. But heaven help you, those kids and your job, you’re going to be exhausted. Oh! I should let you go, shouldn’t I? You need to get some sleep. Make sure you’re taking care of yourself, sweetie, please.” Her mother rambled on the other end of the line.

“I am, Mom, I promise,” April reassured her with a nod.

“Don’t worry, Karen. I’ve got her.” Jackson popped in to offer his own back-up.

“Yeah? Heaven help me after all,” she teased, echoing her mother’s sentiment.

They both laugh loudly at the words, wide smiles gracing their features. Jackson joined April on her bed as best as it could fit the both of them, smiling at his mother graciously as their daughter was handed back over and Catherine took Kamal with her so the two of them could get a little bit of peace and quiet just between the two of them. There wouldn't be much of that in the coming days, she knew that much, but with Harriet sleeping soundly in her father's arm and both of them watching, everything in their life felt as close to perfect as possible.


End file.
